GIJoe

[Rollo Tomassi]

Dr Biggles-Jones, I thought died sometime during the whole Baroness' stolen baby debacle.


The major Spoiler is that Stormshadow's 1st apprentice is ruthlessly murdered by his own father in a completely lame ambiguous way.

[anarky]

Uh.

Wow.

Shit.

Unless someone else was retconned to be a previous apprentice, wow, uh, shit. We're talking about the son of a used car dealer who went bad, and who a few times was actually brought from the brink of seemingly all-consuming total evil by concern for said son and ninja apprentice, right?

Fuck the dude brought his kid along when he founded a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world, and now he's going to kill him? His love for Billy was his only redeeming quality; now he's just a cookie cutter doofus villain.

I thought the Devil's Due team was creatively bankrupt and incapable of telling good stories anymore. I had no idea that they wanted to actively piss on the great stories of the past. It's sad that the early issues were so good; I guess they had years to come up with those stories, and then totally ran out of ideas. (Snake Eyes dead and brought back as an evil zombie? C'mon. Ninjas can slow their bodily functions so as to appear dead when they get gunned down by a Euro-trash bitch, but the resurrection and brainwashing stuff is total bullshit. Crack open a book, goddammit!)

I honestly think they want to fuck this universe up so badly that no one can continue where it left off, knowing that a lot of fans will want a direct continuation. Kinda a sour grapes proposition, only they're the ones making sure the grapes are sour.

As for Biggles-Jones, why would they have brought her back up at all? Her backstory is so linked to the Transformers that it's next to impossible to justify her being there. Much less as a Cobra.

[Rollo Tomassi]

I would have to back and reread the Biggles-Jones reference, but I think it was just an off-handed comment when they are checking the bodies in the aftermath of some shootout. Like, she wasn't in the story, just her carcass in one scene.

As for the other thing. It's just...lame. I mean if he had walked up to him and put a bullet in his head, it would have been shocking and definitive.

But instead, he shoots him with a dart, explains that the dart is full of some wicked cocktail that will painfully kill him slowly and leaves. The last shot of the comic is Billy laying on the floor (with open eyes). So technically, he could ninja trance his way out of it, I suppose. But the whole thing speaks volumes as to how far this book has slipped. I don't feel like Cobra has taken over the world in this series. I'm just not getting then sense of OH SHIT! dread from this entire mega crossover. I don't feel like GIJoe has its back against the wall and is going to have to pull some hail mary to save the world. I'm just bored by it. Bored. Bored. Bored.

[anarky]

I re-read this book last night, and noticed a serious problem on the cover. Two, actually, though one was relatively minor. See if you can spot it, or post your own fuckup.

And, no, it's not that this scan is obviously from an autographed copy.

Cue Rollo in three... two... one....

[jjreason]

Looks like the ghost of Quick Kick made it to the party.... in a more solid state than ectoplasm should allow.

[anarky]

That was the big one. Not sure how a dude who had been dead for years and who can't be mistaken for anyone else made it. Apparently ghosts aren't allowed to carry throwing stars, though.

Storm Shadow was a Cobra again at this point, but I suppose I can chalk that up to creative license.

Somebody else throw out one, or I will if and when I find another one.

[Zero]

DOES SCARLETT'S COSTUME COUNT AS A FUCK-UP? CAUSE IT SHOULD.

[Diabolical]

Zen Intergalactic Ninja was never a part of GI Joe.

[anarky]

Shit, if you want to get that anal, Shipwreck never took HGH and Zap wasn't eight feet tall.

[Rollo Tomassi]

Which one is Zap?

For that matter, there are about ten guys on the page who are questionable...

[anarky]

I think he's the uber-tall guy blocking part of the logo. I know there was a Zap figure released later on, and I think he was a Sonic Commando, who had uniforms similar to that, so that's my guess. It could've been some flash-in-the-pan, who-gives-a-shit character, but I'll say Zap. In any case, the dude is fucking eight or nine feet tall, given the perspective and relative heights of everyone else. Maybe more--if you look really closely at legs that are partly obscured, his feet are actually closer to us than Gung Ho's (who has some fucking stubby legs), meaning he must be leaning back, or something.

Let's just say the design of the cover is a good one. The technical execution is lacking a bit.

The only other dude I can think of who was important enough to appear and looked like that was Dial-Tone, who was also a Sonic Commando, but who could already be elsewhere in the picture, and who wasn't normally seen without his hat.

Back Row: Zap (?)
2nd Row: HGH-Infused Shipwreck, Clutch, Lt. Falcon (or maybe Dial-Tone--I can't tell for sure if he has a moustache), Wet Suit or maybe Deep Six (?), Cotton Hill in Gung-Ho Disguise
3rd Row: Really Poorly Informed Cobra Infiltrator Who Didn't Bother to Check to See if Quick Kick Was Alive, Duke, Rock 'n' Roll, Flint, Lady Jaye, Scarlett in Shitty Hasbro-Designed Ninja Armor, Snake Eyes
Left Side: Storm Shadow (whoever was working security didn't look on the roster to see what side he was on this week, or they didn't care since the team was shutting down, Roadblock (who is either topless, or suffering from an unfortunate colorist's error)
Center: Stalker, Hawk (HA! Eat it, Duke! You have to stand on the sidelines, dick!)
Bottom, Front Row: Beach Head (or possibly Shockwave or one of those Ninja Force douches), Ripcord, Steeler (?--totally not sure, but that's my best guess), Torpedo (?), Spirit Iron-Knife
Not even going to hazard a guess on the far bottom row. But, since Quick Kick was allowed to return to earth for this momentous occasion, I'm saying Crank Case and Doc. Or Mangler and Cool Breeze. Or maybe Darklon and Kwinn.

Edit: I missed the uncolored ascot, so that one character is definitely Falcon. So that puts "Zap" into question.

[Rollo Tomassi]

I think the "giant" is Mutt, as in Mutt and Junkyard.

The "Torpedo" at the bottom of the page, next to Spirit I was thinking was Mainframe without his helmet maybe?

Ripcord? yeah maybe, but thats a horrific interpretation of his cammies. And Steeler? I have no idea who that is.

HA! That's Duke? I was wondering who the hell had a bigass retard helmet and I thought they had just made up some dude for the cover.

[anarky]

I forgot about Mutt, who also had a goofy costume like that later on.

I'm 99% sure that's Duke, based on the shitty later toys. He had some fucking wacky armor.

Ripcord's camo is bad, but who else wore that style of camo and had red hair? Plus, even though he was never a really major player, Hama definitely liked the character.

Course, that would be operating under the assumption he designed the cover. That seems unlikely given the Quick Kick appearance; not only was he dead, but he was never anything close to important in the comics.

[anarky]

Comicbookresources.com did a tour of IDW recently.

[Editor's Note: IDW asked that CBR obscure one section of Chris's book case in the above photo as it would reveal some upcoming work to come that they're not quite ready to discuss. It is big, though.]
Around the other side of the office, among the highlights on the bookcase are a copy of pretty much every copy of everything IDW has ever published

Obviously, you can't see much. I'm willing to bet it's GIJoe, based on recent rumors and now this.

[vynsane]

funny, we have those same bookcases. the "billy" bookcase from ikea.