Shit you'd love to hear Martha Stewart say

[anarky]

There's something about Martha Stewart and her manner of speaking that would make it funny for her to say quite a few things. And herein we shall discuss the funniest things for Martha Stewart to say.

First, it would be piss-your-pants hilarious if she were to recite the lyrics of "Rapper's Delight."

And here's one I came up with yesterday. I know it breaks a forum rule, but I have to share this shizzy anyway:

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally not said by Martha on The Martha Stewart Holidays in Prison special</i>

"And sew along this edge, and you can see that we have a nice festive holiday pillow. I recommend giving one of these to your bitch, who will greatly appreciate having something soft to rest his ass upon after a good cornholing."<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

[Slicker]

I just want a plain "fo' shizzle"

[anarky]

I'd give my left nut to see an episode of Deadwood that starts with the disclaimer: "On tonight's episode, the role of Calamity Jane will be played by Martha Stewart."

That'd be some funny shit. Jane cusses so much she almost offends even me.

[Antropov]

I would love to hear her recite any given Snigtad post, complete with phoenetic pronounciations of misspelled words.

[Snigtad Flornbi]

yeah fuck your butt captainhomo. Id like to hear martha Sterwart say ooh baby ooh baby becasue she is a hot bitch and i have not fucked her yet.

[Antropov]

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Snigtad Flornbi</i>
<br />yeah fuck your butt captainhomo. Id like to hear martha Sterwart say ooh baby ooh baby becasue she is a hot bitch and i have not fucked her yet.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">....and it's a good thing.

[jjreason]

I'd like to hear her say "I shaved my pussy in a new way that your lover might truly appreciate", or maybe "I let my special someone in the back door last night" - in that prim Martha manner. I know she loves the white stuff, why not tell us all about it?

[Antropov]

"While imprisoned, my cellmate taught me how to tear that ass up something proper."

[kidhuman]

I would love to hear her say she dyked out hard in Prison and sucked Trump off for her newly canceled show.

[vynsane]

mrs. vyn watches the talk show that she has, and the funniest shit is that she actually says some crazy stuff... she had betty white on, and they were talking about her character on the mary tyler moore show, how she was a house-wife type nymphomaniac - martha says "that sounds like me... at least the house-wife part..." and betty white says "are you a nymphomaniac?" and MS says...

"yes. yes, i'm a nymphomaniac. let the tabloids write about that for a change!"

[kidhuman]

Thats a fuckin riot vyn, good shit. I would love to hear her say

"I got gang banged last night by homeless man his his bum crew" They filmed it in bukakke style. I drank all there juices 4 times. I am a dirty little whore. Homeless man cornholed me good."

[The Goat]

There's something about Martha Stewart and her manner of speaking that would make it funny for her to say quite a few things. And herein we shall discuss the funniest things for Martha Stewart to say.

BAAAA!!!!

[captain funtime]

I am shocked the Grin hasnt heard her say "cum on my tits you big cocked stud".

[Bizarro The Grin]

i JUST WANT TO HEAR HER SAY, "hELLO, bIZARRO tHE gRIN. i MADE YOU A NICE PUMPKIN PIE."

wHAT? eVERYTHING HAS TO BE ABOUT SEX WITH FATHERS? i LIKE PUMPKIN PIE, TOO, YOU KNOW.

[Batman]

As do I, Bizarro... The Grin. Enjoy the holiday, and I hope you get plenty of pumpkin pie. Spend time with your family... though I cringe to think of what... activities your family may undertake.