If you ran Hollywood, what movies would you make?

[Double_G]

I'm pretty sure Freakazoid's mannerisms were somewhat based on Carrey. But Jim Carrey hasn't been funny since "Me, Myself and Irene".

[anarky]

Too old by a long shot, though.

[anarky]

How about a movie based on an old toy line. Maybe Transformers. The first movie could be about Bumblebee, Optimus Prime, Ironhide, Jazz, and Ratchet showing up on Earth and fighting a contingent of Decepticons led by Starscream.

Only this movie wouldn't fucking suck.

[BumCake]

Here are some movies I would make:

-First movie: Cunty Snatchums (portrayed by BumCake's uterus) is a fashion magazine writer in New York. But her overbearing boss, Dick Assbutt (portrayed by Clive Owen) wants her to write a column about inter-office relations. So Cunty Snatchums has to do some research on the subject and long story short, the whole movie is just Dick Assbutt inside Cunty Snatchums. Cunty Snatchums ends up never even writing the article so she gets fired. But Dick Assbutt fucks her

-Second movie: The setting is in the hills of Ireland. Barry O'Twattingham (portrayed by Clive Owen) is a sheepherder. His closest neighbor Marcia McTaint (portrayed by Bum Cake) is a nudist and she makes wool sweaters. One day, Barry O'Twattingham offers Marcia McTaint some beer and yadda yadda yadda, Barry O'Twattingham & Marcia McTaint get drunk and have so much sex that they turn into a flesh Celtic knot.

-Third movie: The land of Vulvabean is being tormented by a rabid grizzly bear (named Charles Balls) who lives in the forest nearby. The grizzly bear (portrayed by Clive Owen) likes to break into the villagers' cottages and he steals their dvds and blankets. One day, a milkmaid named Cory Feldman (portrayed by BumCake's left boob) discovers Charles Balls trying to steal her limited edition Charles In Charge dvds. So Cory Feldman squirts her boob milk at Charles Balls and then Charles Balls is no longer rabid. So Cory Feldman takes Charles Balls and does sexual stuff with him and some blankets. And then they make sex movies together and then Charles Balls no longer steals and stuff.

-Fourth movie: This one is kind of a psychological thriller. It stars Clive Owen as a murderer and he kills BumCake while he's having sex with her. Oh, and there are all these twists and turns in the plot too. It's really suspenseful.

-Fifth movie: This one is kind of a documentary. It follows a very attractive woman named ButtPie as she stalks and masturbates to a nameless British actor. The nameless British actor (who has been in many films, such as Win City, Barthur, Bloser, Shoot 'Em Down, & Rerailed) ends up leaving his wife and family to run away with ButtPie to New Jersey.

[Zaphod]

i would make a sesame street porno, using all the same costumes, muppets, and actors. it would be fucking hardcore. an asteroid hits earth and irradiates all the muppets and turns them into psychotic nymphos, then they all gang-r-word one of the more attractive human females. "fuck you bitch, elmo wants pussy and bitch got pussy!" the rest of the movie is just muppet sex and muppet-on-human action. a scene of gordon porking snuffiegaluggagafuss would be the climax in more ways than one.

then i'd spend a lot of money on bribes and get it rated g and release it under the name "sesame street: elmo's adventures in happytown." let's see how many little kids are scarred for life by that.

[Jargo]

Zac Effron plays an effeminate looking college student who wakes up one day to find the Angel Lucifer sitting on his bed. Lucifer tells Zac that he's going to die a horrible death. Zac begs Lucifer to help and Lucifer cuts him a deal. he'll bring Zac back to life after he dies but he must face death again each and every day for the rest of his life. each death will be more horrible than the last (I'm thinking probably 100 deaths throughout the movie). Zac agrees and basically the whole movie is just Zac getting mangled dismembered crushed and gored. the sting being that everyone Zac's character loves and holds dear gets killed too. even his pet puppy.

[Jargo]

I'm pretty sure Freakazoid's mannerisms were somewhat based on Carrey. But Jim Carrey hasn't been funny since "Me, Myself and Irene".

I saw Yes man recently and quite enjoyed it because Carrey wasn't so ridiculously rubber faced and hyper. reminded me of the sort of movie steve martin might have made if he wasn't so terrible at picking movies these days.

[anarky]

But isn't Yes Man a remake of Liar, Liar?

[Jargo]

dunno. haven't seen it. I just think a subdued Carrey is better than a manic one.

[JON]

I think the life of Hannibal would make a good movie. Or maybe a series like "Rome", although it sees that was not so popular.

No A-Team jokes, although I assure you that movie is in the pipeline.

[Diabolical]

I guess Vin Diesel had been trying to get a Hannibal flick off the ground for years.

[Double_G]

But isn't Yes Man a remake of Liar, Liar?

You could say that, yeah.

[Ran]

But isn't Yes Man a remake of Liar, Liar?

You could say that, yeah.

Both anarky and I came to that conclusion based off seeing the commercial once.

[anarky]

Iron Chef: The Movie. No actual cooking. Play it up like this shit is fucking real. Chairman Kaga and the American guy really are related, and they have to stop an evil disgruntled student at the National Academy. Lots of martial arts action as they try to defeat him from using some secret ingredient that's so rare, it could end the world. (I know it makes no sense. Roll with it.) The Chairmen are the same actors, and the other "characters" aren't. Ben Stiller as Bobby Flay. Kevin Smith as Mario Batalli. John Oliver as Alton Brown, who's like Q from the Bond movies.

Yo.

[Diabolical]

Tom Jane and Nathan Fillion star as brothers in some sort of action/comedy...

...about...


...something...



...I have no idea.
I just think those two would awesome together in a movie.





Ooh! Tom Jane could play Mal's brother in Serenity 2!