So, What comics did you buy this week?

[RoIIo Tomassi]

C'mon. When the mob guy is sobbing and thanking Frank at the end for saving him from the other guy, and Frank just shoots him in the face? That was classic Punisher.

[Diabolical]

5% Punisher doesn't make up for 95% crap.

[DeckardSmith]

My punishment continues. And seems to increase. 16 books?! That's NutterButters.

Amazing Spidey 694. Spidey takes away Alpha's powers.

New Avengers 30. AvX tie in. A recently depowered Emma Frost is being transported to prison by the Avengers. An anti-mutant group of Purifiers attacks the van and cause a ruckus. And Luke Cage decides he's done being an Avenger (probably because he wasn't in the movie).

Captain America/Black Widow 637. Cap, BW, and the evil alt reality BW get shuffled into a garbage universe where they get attacked by dianogas.

FF 22. Li'l Bentley comes face to face with his "father"...and kicks him in the nuts. Nurture defeats Nature.

Gambit 3. Remy and the as yet unnamed mystery woman trek deep into the Guatamalan jungle. She's wearing a halter top and panties. Who wears that in the jungle? Honestly.

GIJoe: ARAH 182. The Joes hunt for Darklon in the desert. Darklon hunts the Joes in the desert. Lots of maneuvering and outmaneuvering ensues.

SnakeEyes/Stormshadow 17. Serpentor's Coil shock troops kidnap the SoftMaster and almost get the HardMaster. Target:SnakeEyes starts next month.

Iron Man 525. Iron Man vs Mandarin!

Punisher 16. FINAL ISSUE. The story of Sergeant Cole-Alves reaches its conclusion. The War Zone miniseries starts next.

Journey Into Mystery 644. Everything Burns part 5. Loki is like a quadruple-crosser at this point. No wonder nobody trusts him. Epic brilliance.

Transformers MTMTE 9. Rewind begins a pre-war story of Orion Pax hunting a serial killer.

Transformers RID Annual 2012. The Titan from the MTMTE Annual arrives on Cybertron and proclaims Starscream to be some big important robot. Which will probably help him in the elections.

Winter Soldier 11. Bucky and Hawkeye chase after the brainwashed Black Widow. Leo tells Bucky he needs to re-brainwash himself and assassinate somebody or he'll kill Natasha.

X-Men Legacy 273. Rogue stops an alternate dimension genocidal civil war.

X-Men Legacy 274. Rogue and Magneto meet and talk and decide to NOT be the new Mutant Power Couple.

WaX-Men 17. What is Doop's job at the school? Read this and find out! Wonderful, absurd issue drawn by Mike Allred. Absurd. And wonderful. I need to find a Doop speak translator on google.

[DeckardSmith]

Only eight books this week. Is it my birthday?

Amazing Spidey 695. Five issues from the end, Slott ramps up towards the endgame. Kingpin and Ty Stone cause Peter's Spidey Sense to go into overload so even hot coffee and slow moving mailcarts set it off. Which tips Hobgoblin off to Peter's secret ID.

Avengers 30. AvX tie in. Hawkeye and Spider-Woman squabble about their love life while stopping Mr Negative and his goons from stealing leftover tech from the FI invasion.

Avengers Academy 38. The Inaugural Academy vs Jean Grey School's Flag Football game!

AvX 12. Hope beats up Scott, takes the Pheonix Force, restores the X-gene, and sets up Marvel NOW! I'm soooo glad this is over.

AvX Versus 6. Hope fights Wanda. And a bunch of two page dust-ups.

Minimum Carnage: Alpha. First part of the Scarlet Spider/Venom crossover. Cletus escapes with the help of some microscopic villains. Kaine and Flash get involved from different directions and inevitably fight each other in the Merry Marvel Misunderstanding Meme.

Daredevil: End of Days 1.DD is killed on live TV by Bullseye. Phil Urich begins backtracking the events that led to the shocking first pages.

Uncanny X-Men 19. A poor Man's version of the Dr. Manhattan issue of Watchmen as Dark Pheonix Cyclops relives every moment of his life simultaneously.

[Diabolical]

Last week and this week:

Avengers vs X-Men #12 - AKA Prologue to Marvel Now.

Batman: The Dark Knight #0 - Bruce tries to uncover the mystery of who killed his parents and finds out there is no mystery, just a guy named Joe Chill.

Batman: Detective Comics #13 - The Penguin hates Bruce Wayne so he plans on keeping Batman busy while assassins kill Wayne. There could be a glitch there for Penguin.

Batman Incorporated #0 - Not really sure...Morrison just writes whatever the fuck he wants.

Before Watchmen: Ozymandias #3 - Ozymandias tangles with The Comedian and builds his Arctic fortress.

The Boys #71 - Hughie and Butcher has a long talk while they both nearly bleed to death in the penultimate issue.

Daredevil: End of Days #1 - After taking over Hell's Kitchen, DD ends up killing the Kingpin and disappears...until Bullseye kills him in the street.

Fatale #3 - So hard to describe what goes on because its all bit convoluted.

Fury: My War Gone By #6 - Fury and friends are captured and tortured by the Cubans after failing to kill Castro. Next issue: 'nam and Frank.

The Punisher #16 - The end of Rucka's outstanding run because Marvel fucked him over. Things didn't end the way I expected, which is a good thing.

Space: Punisher #3 - More insanity as Frank kills Green Goblin, magneto, Red Skull and Ultron in his quest for vengeance. He also battles Hitler monsters, gets his ass kicked by Jarvis and comes face to face with The Watchers.

[anarky]

The Penguin hates Bruce Wayne so he plans on keeping Batman busy while assassins kill Wayne. There could be a glitch there for Penguin.

Quote. Of. The. Day.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

The Penguin hates Bruce Wayne so he plans on keeping Batman busy while assassins kill Wayne. There could be a glitch there for Penguin.

Quote. Of. The. Day.

This one is also delightful.

Batman Incorporated #0 - Not really sure...Morrison just writes whatever the fuck he wants.

[anarky]

Anyone want to help a brother out? Apparently, the two local stores aren't carrying Transformers: Regeneration One anymore (which is snigtarded since it sells out on the day of release!). One store lied to me and said it didn't ship; check back next week. Only getting one book, I don't qualify for pull lists at either of them. I can't find anywhere online that will ship just one damned comic for less than $3. Gas is running almost $5 because of the oil industry just buttfucking the state of California lately, so I can't afford to drive around for it.

If any of you with regular stores can see if they have Regeneration One #84, it would be a lot cheaper to get a normal person to ship it to me than to pay $3 or more. I'd prefer Cover B (which has a sort of split-image between Megatron and Ratchet's faces), but don't mind Cover A if that's what's available. Hell, if you can get it for me, if your store owners are willing to add on a Cover B (or either cover, for that matter) to your list for every consecutive issue, I would greatly appreciate it (the book's on #84, and only going to #100).

[RoIIo Tomassi]

The one guy may be saying troofs. Occasionally IDW books do show up the week after they're supposed to. I don't know why either guy wouldn't order a copy for you if it's a guaranteed sale. It's as difficult as him writing "1" on the order form to Diamond. That wouldn't guarantee you the "B" cover everytime though. It's a crapshoot which cover gets sent. That's why I wish they'd do what they did on their Joe books and just go to one cover.

What's the minimum number of books for a pull? You could add the other two TF books and Atomic Robo. And also whatever Liefeld is working on.

I got the last copy left at my shop today. I could ask him to up his order but that wouldn't kick in for a couple months.

[anarky]

Hmmm.... Maybe you're onto something. The one with Bludgeon on the cover wasn't in, either, and that also shipped today.

[Diabolical]

Commented on your fb. My shop had probably 5 of each cover. Had him stash a cover b in my box just in case. let me know.

[anarky]

Responded to you on FB.

Back to the lecture at hand:

American Vampire Vol. 3. Haven't read yet. This contains twelve fucking issues. Jeez. Some publishers charge $15 for collections of ten issues, some charge that for collections of five.

Speaking of which...

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Vol. 5. Five issues, cover price three dollars more than American Vampire. Damn. But it's awesome. I'm going to publicly dissent against what seems like the majority of readers online and say that I dug the shit out of the Blue Ninjas storyline. It's just the right level of crazy, over-the-top sci-fi that this book has always dealt with when at its best. Really enjoying the hints that Darklon has always been a far more devious motherfucker than he was credited with, and his story's turning out to be pretty epic. I'm a bit miffed that the Annual isn't included; hopefully it's in the next volume.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Vol. 3. Still haven't read the previous ones; I pre-ordered this because they're so cheap on Amazon, and figured I'd have read them by now. What I really want is a collection of the Mirage stuff in paperbacks in proper chronological order, not this weird "Eastman/Laird stuff is only in hardback, everyone else's stories are in random order in paperbacks" bullshit. Hopefully they'll eventually get to the Image stuff, maybe even the Peter David Dreamwave series.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. Sure, I've read most of it online, but The Oatmeal is awesome.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

S'funny. Back when I re-started collecting in 2003, I'd let my daughter pick out one comic every week off the stands. One week she picked up TMNT from the DreamWave run. I thought it was pretty good and she liked it. So I thought I'd start getting her that series to collect. But I couldn't because It was issue 7. The final issue. The book got canceled after that or whatever.

I tend to read ARAH with my 13-year old self's mentality. As if I'm reading "lost" back issues of the original series. People who rag on the current run being far fetched and hokey must not have read the original book. Or they've nostalgiaed away the cornball and crushed the carbon of the actual book down into a diamond of only the best, most kickass elements of the entire series.
I on the other hand celebrate the new run because it's exactly like the orginal with all it's absurdity. And 13 year old me would've LOVED ninjas led by cyborgs. That shit is K-E-W-L kewl in 1987, yo!

[DeckardSmith]

I'm all misty eyed at your nocturnal emissions of nostalgia about getting your old GIJoe comic pages all sticky. But alas, now I have to yammer on halfheartedly about wayyy to many funny books.

Avenging Spidey 13. So we've gone from the original conceit of this series of having Spidey team up with A-List Avengers to Spidey teaming up with Deadpool to fight Hypno Hustler. For $3.99 an issue? No. Dropped.

Avengers 31. Wonder Man shows up and kinda mumbles an apology for being a douche. Then he beats up Red Hulk.

AvX Consequences 1. Instead of getting due process, Cyclops is handed off to a privately funded prison run by an anti-mutant bigot. WTF?

Avengers Assemble 7. Thanos uses his nifty new Cosmic Cube to kill all the Elders of the Universe and get really big and 'cosmicy'.

Uncanny Avengers 1. Everyone acts uncharacteristically douchey as if the writer has never read any other Marvel Comic ever. At least Cassaday's art was bearable.

Captain America 18. Cap defeats all the bad guys and stops whatever they were doing. I don't know. I got bored with this arc three issue ago.

Batgirl 13. Yeah. I bought a couple DC books. Big whoop. Wanna fight about it? This was allegedly a prologue to the Joker story. But it wasn't. It was a bait and switch. I got scammed.

Batman 13. Joker shows up and kills all the police and all the mayor's men and the mayor and wraps it up with killing one of Batman's inner circle. And that's just issue one.

Fantastic Four 611. FINAL ISSUE. Reed, Nathan, and Val rescue Dr. Doom from his own Infinity Gauntlet created Universe.

GIJoe 18. Target:Snake Eyes begins. Scarlett wants him dead, dead, DEAD!!! Mainframe is all slow yer roll, yo.

Red She Hulk 58. First issue (yeah, I know its issue 58, but Marvel likes to play fast and loose with numbering rules. It really is the first issue). Betty has problems with a new Super Soldier Program, so she busts it up.

Iron Man 526. Iron Man defeats Mandarin! Huzzah! Who didn't see that coming?

Scarlet Spider 10. Mimimum Carnage continues. Kaine and Venom fight before headed to the Microverse to find Carnage.

Transformers ReGen One 84. Out of respect to those who've not yet read it, I will defer my twitter-sized review of this issue.

Transformers RID 10. Orion Pax in a trippy time travel issue that will need to be read several times to understand.

WaX-Men 18. AvX tie in(dear god these tie ins won't ever end!! The damn series is over and they're still showing up). Anyway, the kids at the school watch the final battle unfold via Cerebro. Prof. X dies, and the Pheonix Force reignites mutants all over the planet. Also, that little asshole Kade shoots Broo in the head. That sucks. I liked Broo. But that was probably Jason Aaron's plan all along. Get everyone to like the nerdy Brood kid with glasses and then shoot him in the head. Jerk. (Aaron is the jerk, not Broo. As previously stated, I liked Broo.)

Also got a free Marvel NOW preview book. Reinforced my decision to avoid Captain America. Remender + awful JRJr art and a stupid Eco-villain called Green Skull makes me want to vomit tears.

[anarky]

They need to kill Snake Eyes in this story. Chuck Dixon doesn't know what the fuck to do with him. Let him live and star in the Hamaverse.