Make our own EU

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 7:15 pm

Anakin's half brother? Jesus.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed May 02, 2007 3:32 pm

Should this be merged with mabs' "Cunt Face" thread?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:03 am

Millenium ago, there was a famous Bounty Hunter by the name Shroba Fett who wisely invested in a plastisteel manufacturing plant in the Horde Naldis system. They produced miniature figurines of famous citizens throughout the galaxy. Centuries later, his descendants would die pussy deaths on rocky, barren worlds.

To confuse enemy invaders, the Rebellion would often use wooden "decoy" starfighters to lure potential saboteurs away from the three genuine X-Wings and Y-Wings they had on deck.

Chalmun's Cantina is not named after the Wookiee owner as some have suggested. Rather, the word is a Correlian phrase from the Albancar dialect that means "Shit fur" and Chalmun ( whose name is actually Clydeacca or "Clyde" for short) actually got the knickname from a Correlian whore because he cant see to get the clumpies off the fur on his butt. Why he was with a Correlian whore is a story for a different time.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:52 pm

Darth Maul survived falling down into the melting pit and was rebuilt as a cyborg by (then pre-cyborg) Grievous. He finally managed to catch up to Obi-Wan years later on Tatooine, where Owen shot him in the back. However, he was found by Jawas and rebuilt into a cyborg again. He didn't arrive at the Death Star before Obi-Wan died. Enraged by missing his third chance to get his ass kicked by Obi-Wan, he dedicated the rest of his unnatural life to haunting Obi-Wan's last student, Luke Skywalker. What he does is shroud his presence in the Force until Luke is asleep, then he smears bleach on Luke's penis, so that he wakes up with blisters. He has done this every night without fail for twenty years. That's why Mara won't give him head.

It is also not widely known, but Maul enjoys touching a man's penis.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 5:07 pm

Well Mara won't be giving Luke anymore head. Ever.

The guy that rescued his Ice Cream Maker on Cloud City, eventually sold it on Galactic Alliance eBay for a pretty good amount, then used that money to invest in some twist ties. He tied these into delightful little faux flower arrangements and sold them as buttons. Eventually they became the symbolic pin used for Ithorian sympathizers when that planet was destroyed. He know owns a sizable portion of the Flantdig System and is looking to expand into the Corporate Sector. He's REALLY rich.

Ponda Baba was jewish.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 8:56 pm

While Wuher was at bartender school, his mother had an affair with a Clonetrooper. Wuher was captain of his school's tennis team.

Ree-Yees hates mustard.

Jabba the Hutt keeps the complete collection of Ziggy cartoons under his pillow.

Part of IG-88's processor is made of parts of an NES once owned by Uncle Owen.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 9:55 pm

Rogue II wrote:Part of IG-88's processor is made of parts of an NES once owned by Uncle Owen.

The rest was the remnants of Darth Maul's first cybernetic anus.

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:30 am

When Jar Jar fell from the catwalk on Naboo in TPM he actually was stuck to a piece of gum Darth Maul had spit out, proving that he'd been to Naboo before explaining how he found where the Jedi were so quickly when he returned.*

*Its not nearly as goofy as the rest of the greatness contained in this thread, but mabs and I were discussing how anything can be canon anymore as long it is somehow tied to something that happened somewhere in the movie..

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:36 am

Long long ago in a galaxy far far away...

The pencil Uncle Owen used to wedge into his NES to keep the cartridge in the right place was picked up by Sandtrooper KH-616. KH-616 lent that pencil to an Imperial Officer, who left it on Vader's shuttle. When Vader's Shuttle docked at the first Death Star, the pencil was found by a member of the cleaning crew, who placed it in the Lost and Found. When the Death Star was destroyed, the pencil floated through the universe for many years. One day, in the 1980s, the pencil landed near a city called New York on a planet called Earth. It was picked up by a young fifth grader named Scott, who used that pencil to become his schools pencil fighting champion. Unfortunatly, a week later, the young lad left the pencil in his back pocket when he sat down and snapped it in half. The pencil is believed to now be buried deep in a landfill in New Jersey.

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:26 pm

For Aqualish, oral sex and anal sex are the same thing.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:27 pm

They also shit out of their mouths, as their bodies only have one opening. So their breath always tastes like shit. That's why they're so unpleasant.

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:31 pm

And one more Aqualish fact: they actually have sixteen arms, which is why the ones shown on Ponda Baba's body have hooves, the one on the cantina floor has hairy fingers, and the ones shown in the prequels have two tentacle-like fingers. They just keep the rest behind their backs and only use them when they feel like it.

Diabolical · Post by **Diabolical** » Sat Jun 16, 2007 11:46 pm

Sesame Street is more canon that the books, comics, cards, cartoon, ect.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Thu Jun 28, 2007 8:12 pm

Uncle Owen never legally married Beru. He said, "Why marry the cow when you can get the blue milk for free?"

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Sat Jun 30, 2007 9:21 am

Nerf Herding has nothing to do with either Nerfs OR Herds.

Draw your own conclusion.