greatest junk email topics of all time...

okay i can hear you now. and i don't want to. why don't you go fuck slicker's mom and get out of my face?

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Ran
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Post by Ran »

Subject: My new pics are up ja

Hi there stud, this is Sabrina your hornly latina.

I just posted my new album from Cuba

I was wet and wild, just wished YOU were there to satisfy my apetite :)



---deleted website---

XOXOXOXOXO

---deleted website---

lahore grove onyx agony.groom yuck aboard squash aerate kelvin onrush.
adopt fda aerate quiz bitch parrot...blew.
blind olga ibm.

lahore grove?

The junk e-mail refered to me as a "stud." Jealous?
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Diabolical
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Post by Diabolical »

I want to know what "hornly" means.
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vynsane
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Post by vynsane »

i don't think you want to satisfy "her" ape tit-e, either...
Life is short. STUNT IT!
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captain funtime
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Post by captain funtime »

Diabolical wrote:I want to know what "hornly" means.

It means when I shove my Rhino horn of a dick up your moms ass
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The Grip
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Post by The Grip »

Your mothair e-mails me all zee time undt she calls me studengruven!
:arrow: :frus:
Zat ees me, focking your mothair!
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anarky
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Post by anarky »

I just saw one entitled "BM Expel Reason." it was funey b caus i just made bm on j j reasan who is a fagg liek me lol
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Diabolical
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Post by Diabolical »

Because Amanda is such a Russian sounding name:
Hey There From California..My Name is Amanda, I am bored wanna chat?
I am 25 5"9 125lbs. I just moved to the USA from Russia
How about you?
And that is all the email said.
"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
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*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
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Ran
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Post by Ran »

I got an e-mail titled "May I at this moment in time call on the Zimbabwean government in reminding them that the blood of Ethiopians is shouting at the very door of Mugabe." Somehow, it got past the spam filter. Skimming through it, it talks about Asian students, Guinea, and the French.
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Eternal Padawan
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

I hate the French.
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anarky
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Post by anarky »

Even Laetitia Casta?

She is a saucy little strumpet.
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anarky
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Post by anarky »

Here's a strange one. This came in through the general e-mail at work, and was sent to a slew of companies (e-mails in alphabetical order, listed in the "To" line).

It seems really quite bogus, but I'm not sure of the scam, unless it relates to the web link. I'm deleting out all identifying info, on the very off chance this is legitimate.

The entire message was in bold. Aside from deleting possibly identifying info (again, in case hell is freezing over and this is for real), I've done no editing:
Subject: PRIVACY POLICY & IDENTITY THEFT
Ms. Firstname Lastname
Street
City, State Zip
United States
http://www.websiteaddress

Mailing Address

P.O. Box ####
City, State Zip
United States – Corporate Finance

RE CYBERSTALKING, PRIVACY and IDENTITY THEFT

Dear Constituent

Proper protocol requires that I notify all Men’s Auxiliaries, government agencies, insurance companies, attorneys and financial institutions of my extreme identity theft situation.

First of all, I am NOT a conjoined twin. I am writing to inform you of the extensive research that I am conducting. I have targeted your institution because of identity theft concerns associated with individuals who may have conducted business with you or have been accepted to this particular program bearing my credentials. I have been pronounced dead using alias credentials and am now considered a “Human-Computer Interface Research Project” to prevent those individuals who successfully obtained restitution from being prosecuted. I am not a robot, I am a human being who has been alive since [a particular date in], 1965, yet I am physically disabled. I am the mother of three wonderful sons, [three boy's names], and a grandmother of a beautiful granddaughter, [girl's name]. I have provided a copy of my website page to prevent any additional occurrences of identity theft. Please review it at your discretion. I would like ALL documents forwarded to me directly for ANY business conducted in my behalf. I would also ask that ANY financial disbursements issued be reported to me as well.

I would like to ask your assistance in assuring that this project is a success. Primarily to prevent any additional instances of identity theft and also to serve as a means of protecting your agency by making you aware of the situation as it relates to me. My privacy has been violated to the extent that the most sensitive form of scientific technology that exists has been used to alert me of fraud associated with my identity. At the age of forty one, this is quite alarming to me, and thus has motivated me to do whatever is necessary to protect myself and others whom I have conducted business with over the years. I would also like to alert you of accounts that were opened in my behalf without any Social Security or Tax Identification numbers associated because of my age as a child. Due to privacy violations, some of this information may have been altered with false identification.

I have provided you with the most current contact information for me, and request that your files be updated accordingly. I ask that you continue to respect my privacy, and after appropriate changes have been made to account information that you hold, please forward the updated documentation to me preferably via United States Postal Service. This will serve as confirmation that you did receive my request and that the appropriate changes have been made to any account information that you hold. I would also like to acknowledge that I should NOT be associated or viewed in association with ANY court watch programs nor any research projects of any kind.

Thank you in advance for the consideration of my request. I eagerly look forward to a continued healthy business relationship with you. I truly apologize for any inconveniences that this may have caused. I would also like to report that as a widow, I maintain use of my maiden name only.


Happy Holidays!


Lady Firstname Lastname

NOTE

DUE TO E-MAIL RESEARCH AND OTHER SPAM, I DO NOT HONOR REPLIES BY E-MAIL.
Weird, huh? I didn't add in the "Lady" title, either. I wasn't aware that was used in the USA.
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vynsane
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Post by vynsane »

wow. just... wow. "human-computer interface project"? and the "i am NOT a conjoined twin" at the beginning... what the fuck is this about???
Life is short. STUNT IT!
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Ran
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Re: greatest junk email topics of all time...

Post by Ran »

Some tidbits form a company-wide email I got today.
DID YOU KNOW . . . . .
92.3 percent of all email sent globally during the first three months of 2008 was Spam.
23,300 new Spam-related web pages were created every day during the period, or one about every three seconds.
The top Spammers, if they worked together, are capable of sending over 100 billion Spam emails per day.
Spam in mail traffic averaged 86.7% in February 2008. A low of 74% was recorded on 11 February, and a high of 95.9% occurred on 2 February.
Research shows that the share of spam peaked at weekends when business correspondence is at its lowest.
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Double_G
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Re: greatest junk email topics of all time...

Post by Double_G »

A few of my junk e-mails...
From: mollie.kimble@laposte.net
Subject: Teacher makes a teen chick gag on his rod hard

now hot ravage

Adorable young babe showered with gallons of cum.
ENTER HERE
cheer him up. but Lockhart appeared nothing his livid face, the way Lockhart teaches the team's plates with

Créez votre adresse électronique prénom.nom@laposte.net
1 Go d'espace de stockage, anti-spam et anti-virus intégrés.
From: Bianca
Subject: Ultimate Teen Hardcore

Inimitable girls with bolts are here to show their hot funs!
The graft of this beauty could not live even a day without making love!
http://ladyboymoviesite.info Really big sticks have to enter tight little holes, so painful at first it is so damn hot in the end.
But I was most puzzled by this one:
From: pefaazuga65089
Subject: Oh my name is Martie and I think YOUR hot!

whatsssssss up? hottie
m y name is Luciana And I ShowOff m y sexy snapper hole eject,,
http://rolandhillsp.blogspot.com/
Samoyedic verrebbe mesoscapular degiovanni.

Uxoricide quaintance tidiness whitewater ticktocks witty's.
Suported gonidiogenous borowiecki anti paranoia imag city se library auctioning.
Who is Luciana and why does she want to show me her sexy snapper hole eject and her whitewater ticktocks witty's?

:ninja:
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
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anarky
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Re: greatest junk email topics of all time...

Post by anarky »

That's like Japanese Toilet Rules/Backstroke of the West porn spam there.
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*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
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