NO! (Don't shoot me in the face! The Punisher Topic)

[vynsane]

and man-thing was just decapitated in dark avengers.

[anarky]

What the fuck? Nothing can stop the Man-Thing.

[vynsane]

Just saw a preview at CBR with a commentary by the writer, who's still going to insane lengths to imply anyone who doesn't like this is a moron, because he's a typical internet troll given control of a comic book, it seems.

i just saw it - i have to say first that rick remender is an awesome writer. this storyline might be a dud, but his run with tony moore on ghost rider was lauded by nearly everyone for both the art and writing. before that his 'fear agent' was fantastic.

i fail to see how one line ("So, c'mon - quit being a jerk and go buy our enjoyable comic book.") equates to 'going to insane lengths to imply anyone how doesn't like this is a moron'.

[anarky]

It's not. But he's said as much in other previous interviews, and, in my mind, defending this shit at all qualifies as "going to insane lengths."

Keep in mind that I'm the guy who thinks 616 Punisher should start trying to give himself superpowers so he can actually deal with some of these heavyweight baddies.

[Diabolical]

Keep in mind that I'm the guy who thinks 616 Punisher should start trying to give himself superpowers so he can actually deal with some of these heavyweight baddies.

Is that you Matt Fraction?
Seriously though, that can't/shouldn't ever happen. Fraction promised that Frank would be taking down some of the big guns in the Marvel U. He killed Stilt-Man in issue #1 and bunch of nobodies in like issue #5. And that was about it. If he were ever given actual powers, no villain would be safe, but there is no way Marvel ever let Frank kill someone like Dr. Doom or Magneto or whomever.
Remender has been doing it right by having Frank trying to kill Osborne, even though we know he'll never kill him, then having Frank work to destroy everything Osborne is doing. And in the process of all this he has sort-of given Frank superpowers when he gave him a ton of superpowered weaponry (like a Skrull sniper rifle and Ant Man's helmet and...whatever it is that made it work).


As for this story: so far Remender has had a great run on The Punisher, so I'm willing to wait and see how things go, despite how stupid much of it is so far.
If I can put up with Punisher War Journal for 2 years (which included the Cap/Punisher monstrosity) I can ride this out.

[anarky]

Keep in mind that I'm the guy who thinks 616 Punisher should start trying to give himself superpowers so he can actually deal with some of these heavyweight baddies.

Is that you Matt Fraction?

No, though, curiously, it appears we were born in the same year and grew up in the same city. I think that's where the similarities end.

Remember the "If you were in charge of Marvel?" thread, when I said something to this effect: 616 Punisher is up against guys he can never hope to beat fairly. They should keep him pretty serious, but make it along the lines of how MAX Punisher would act in the 616 universe. He's going to quickly realize that he can't beat supervillains because, well, they have super powers. Many of these powers are based on technology, magic, or other things Frank could steal. So he should start out killing minor villains (maybe even heroes if they get in his way) and stealing their stuff. It seems they can't have Punisher without Micro or an obvious Micro surrogate, so it's not like he'd have an especially hard time. Maybe the Terrible Tinkerer feels bad about what his weapons have done, or maybe Frank captures him and says he'll torture him to death if he doesn't go along. He works up the super-power ladder, so, eventually, he's got so many gadgets and shit that he's next to unstoppable.

Basically, I meant that I think this guy who loves to amass weapons and seems to master any of them would use the shit he gets from bad guys. He killed Stilt-Man; why the hell didn't he use the stilts? Stilt-Man might be the dumbest fuck in the MU, but you think Frank couldn't come up with something badass to do with those crazy stilts?

[anarky]

So, d'ya see that the book is actually being re-titled Frankencastle?

[Diabolical]

Oh Sweet Jesus Crap.

I’d like to keep mixing things up like this as long as I have a chance to...when the story dictates. But as this story progressed, I knew that Frank had to die. When the character’s up against something like Norman Osborn, and the Dark Avengers, and the Hood, he’s just so incredibly outclassed and so outgunned, to have anything else happen but death... Does he just run away and hide, which isn’t very Frank of him? None of it fit, and I was like, “you know, he’s gotta die.”

Which makes total sense. Look how times other great characters have been in a similar, dire situation and Marvel said "just kill so-and-so off and bring 'em back almost totally unrecognizable."
Oh wait...

[anarky]

I'm just thinking of how awful it is that Batman walks around in daylight, and everyone knows he exists, and Dick Grayson is Batman because the real Batman died fighting Darkseid (barf), never mind that Dick Grayson blew it in Prodigy and didn't want to be Batman and knew Bruce didn't want him to be Batman either, and Tim is in some snigtarded bright red outfit, and Jason Todd is alive, and Robin is Bruce's homicidal kid, and Bruce is now a pirate or a caveman or fighting his way through time or some bullshit, and no one knows Grant Morrison is great when on a leash and a fucking retard when he's given free rein, and Harold and the Ventriloquist and the real Anarky and so many other great characters were killed for no reason, and this isn't played for laughs like on the old Adam West show or Brave and the Bold.

And I think of the utter disgust I feel, and the vomit I can taste working its way into my throat whenever I even think about what the state of Batman is right now in the comics.

And, yet, I have to feel sorry for you, because the 616 Punisher has it about a million times more fucked-up than Batman.

[anarky]

Not a direct continuation of the thread, but I saw this and was going to start a thread with an identical title, and figured I'd just drop it in here.


I guess this is a conspiracy? First Punisher becomes Frankenstein, now Jubilee is a vampire. Next, Iron Man becomes Iron Blob, She-Hulk becomes a mummy, and the Thing will be a werewolf, and they can found a team called The Sucktastic Shitvengers. Awesome work there, House of [Stupid] Ideas.

I fully expect another "Marvel vs DC" crossover, so she can get it on with Batman's homicidal bastard.

[vynsane]

HAHA, wow. that's pure crap.

[Rollo Tomassi]

For a brief shining moment, I was excited about Rick Remender's Punisher book.

And now he has risen like rancid oil to the top of my shittiest writers list, alongside Mark Millar, Jeph Loeb and JBT.

The worst thing about all of this is that it can never be undone. I mean, yes, eventually they can "fix" Frank Castle and make him a normal vigilante again. But like that time when he was an undead zombie angel killer person thing (while that was fucktarded and shitty, this is about 100 times worse) it will always be a part of the characters history.

Thank God for the PunisherMax book.

[anarky]

Thing is, stupid as it fucking sounds, I could actually see the ghost of a dead Frank Castle striking a bargain with angels to come back and kill demons. The whole Frankenstein angle is insane. So someone's killing off guys like Morbius and the fucking Man-Thing, and they have to rebuild the Punisher, only as a superpowered Frankenstein, to fight off the threat? The motherfucking Man-Thing can't handle this shit? What the fuck, dude?

And he gets a rematch with this Daken fatherfucker, but Daken lives to get his own book? Really, I don't think Frank would be in a "live and let live" sort of mood. The guy has held his own against Wolverine, Spider-Man, Venom, Captain America... a lot of really heavy hitters. So Wolverine's bastard bad idea son kills him, and he's reborn with more power? Daken would be fucking deader than Bucky... I mean, Jason Todd... I mean, Norman Osborne... fuck, you know what I mean.

I've got to say, I loathe the idea of Daken about as much as I loathe the idea of Frankencastle. Daken and X-23 should have an orgy with Deadpool, and they decide to abuse Bruce Banner in a YMCA shower, and they do, but it turns out that he's still carrying the AIDS from that crappy 1990s story when it established the Hulk couldn't get AIDS, and the gamma radiation has mutated it so it really fucks up all three of their healing factors, and their dicks rot off (since it's established in the same story that X-23 is a trannie) and they die.

[Rollo Tomassi]

I came up with a similar solution to get rid of Red Hulk, Romulus (the dipshit evil mastermind that's been "manipulating" Wolverine for the past 100 years) and (before he got destroyed) the Master of Doom(as if Doom would kneel before ANYONE, Millar you fucktard fanboy wanker).

As it were, all three get tricked into getting on a rocket that then gets fired towards a blackhole. Then a video comes on and explains that each of the three "villains" has each been given a gun with one bullet. It's a specially designed bullet that can utterly destroy each of them. Now, in order to survive, you must be the only person left alive in the rocket after one hour has passed. If more than one of you is left alive, the rocket flies into the black hole and utterly decimates you out of existence. Except one of the guns has a blank in it. So the quandary becomes obviously, if you shoot one of the other two people you leave yourself defenseless to be killed by the third guy since your one bullet has been spent. Also, you might have the blank, and if you fire it at some guy and its the dud, then he's just gonna blow you away. or will he? Since then that would leave him vulnerable from the third person. What to do, what to do? Remember you only have an hour. Tick tick tick tock.

No matter what happens, its a win/win situation for readers of comics everywhere since all three of those characters sucked donky shit thru a straw. In the end it doesn't matter because the rocket ends up flying into the blackhole anyway. hah.

[vynsane]

so... they used the capunisher uniform on frank in 'ultimate comics avengers 2'. not sure how i'm feeling about that.