comics rock. talk about them here. now. or just go to the "corn" section and wack off. i'll understand. i'll just sit here and read my spider-man comics.
The premise is simple: comic hack Rob Liefeld goes through life getting kicked in the nuts at the most unexpected times and by both random strangers and those closest to him. Since Liefeld is too stupid to catch on, the show could top the ratings for a long, long time.
The pilot episode features Liefeld on a romantic trip to Paris with his girlfriend, Sandra (actually martial arts character actress Cynthia Rothrock). Liefeld is kicked repeatedly in the nuts at a cafe, at the Leuvre, and even by a poodle at a dog show!
To say more would ruin the surprises of Liefeld being kicked endlessly in the nuts. However, inside sources have informed us that future episodes will feature guest stars Todd McFarlane, Michael Clarke Duncan, the editorial staff of Marvel Comics, and everyone who wasted $1.95 on any issue(s) of Youngblood, Brigade, X-Force, Troll, Deathmate, or any other comics Liefeld has "worked" on!
Can I apply for a spot on the network's website? I bought all of his New Mutants issues (probably the guy's career highlight, looking back) as well as the "revamped" Cap issues. I'd like a shot at those huevos.
I can't wait until May sweeps when Johhny Depp sees him in downtown LA and runs over to land a boot in his jimmysack. The following night, Ed McMahon hosts a telethon and invites Rob on just to plant one in his nutters. Ed McMahon swings a mean boot to the balls.
I also understand that the rappin' granny from Adam Sandler's "The Wedding Singer" will stop by as a nut-bustin' regular. Despite her small size and frail appearance, I've heard Liefeld actually has to have surgery to reattach his (itty-bitty, teenie-weenie, yellow polka-dot) dong after one of her kicks!
My favorite episode was the one where Jenna Jameson was doing a strip tease for Rob and she brought the spiked heel of one of her pumps right down into his sack and shivved his meatball on the end like a shishkabob. Everyone had a good laugh at that one.
Duuuuuude! I didn't see that one. I hope maybe they'll have time to squeeze it on the "Best of Rob Liefeld Being a Dumbass" DVD that's scheduled for released October 28--the tenth anniversary of him fellating Saddam Hussein on live Arabic television!
My favourite was when his dad caught him cranking one off in the bathroom looking at a shitty picture of Rogue he'd drawn himself and booted him in the nuts.
That'll teach you to whack off to your own (badly rendered) drawings of females with big tits, Dickhead.
Oh man! That one was ferocious! The blood was all over the shower curtain because his dad wears steel toed workboots, and Rob was just curled up in the fetal position in the tub with his pants around his ankles....
Somebody told me the unaired pilot was when the Oter Image guys voted Rob out and as a parting shot, Jim Lee did a flying ninja kick to his package and sent him through a plate glass window. I wish I could find a bootleg copy of it at the comic cons...
Have you guys seen the commercial for Friday's episode? It's a retro-TV themed ep, and the ad shows Alf holding Liefeld down while Barbara Billingsley whaps his joy buzzer repeatedly with a rolling pin. Looks like it'll be the best yet!
Kick Liefeld's Nuts has been renewed for a second season. Among other highlights, look for Liefeld auditioning for American Idol (and getting not only a ballkick, but a verbal vasectomy from Simon Cowell), and Spike Lee bopping his baggie in retaliation for ruining his career with the infamous "Should I look down and say it?" Levi's commercial!
Hilarious, Im eagerly anticipating the episodes they filmed in Arkansas, where Rob Liefeld and the drummer from Rage against the Machine (both equally unemployed, get it?) find new minimum wage jobs on the dairy farm, the car wash, the local diner, etc. Every boss boots them in the nuts right before they fire them. Should be a gas. Let's hope Liefeld doesn't decide to wear a bikini a la Paris Hilton.
