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The EU has hit rock bottom

Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:37 pm
by anarky
Jacen Solo becoming a Jedi?

Lousy stories told in the far future where it's a retread of the prequels?

Greedo being ground up into a drink for Jabba?

Boba Fett as best man at Dengar's wedding?

The Holiday Special?

No. This.
Ewok Handlers were footsoldiers for the Zann Consortium. They were armed with Gaffi sticks and thermal detonators, and also had sacks that they dragged around with them. When they saw Ewoks during a battle, they would capture them, strap thermal detonators onto their head, stuff them in bags and keep them for groups of enemy soldiers on foot. If they saw a group of soldiers they would take an Ewok out of the sack and send it back into battle, and as soon as the Ewok reached the group of enemies, the detonator would explode with devastating effect.
Words cannot encapsulate the stupidity of that bullshit.

Re: The EU has hit rock bottom

Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 5:16 pm
by Sleazer
They dragged their sacks around? Must've made for some interesting chafing...

Re: The EU has hit rock bottom

Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 6:31 pm
by jjreason
I fucking laughed out loud when I read it! I smells me some customs coming on, as soon as I can find that $5 bag of loose, beat up Ewoks I'm always hoping to find at the toy shows & garage sales.