Top Summer Films of 2017
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 8:20 am
Guess what time it is!!? It's time to guess which summer movie is gonna win big at the box office.
Rule numero uno. No Animated Movies. So Cars 3 and Despicable Me 3 and whatever other third sequels might be coming out. Studios should just slap 3 on all their animated movies and they'd make more. People are sheep.
Rule numero douche. It's all about the benjies. Not which movie is 'kewl' or 'boss' or 'exceptionally well made'. This is a race to the top of Scrooge McDuck's vault.
I left Kong, Beauty and the Beast, and Power Rangers off the list because they're a little too early in the year. Even though Beast will probably beat most everything else on the list.
The last slot came down to Valerian and Dark Tower, and since I haven't seen a trailer for Dark Tower, I gave the slot to Valerian.
Unlike last year, this field seems to be wide open. Each Furious movie seems to make more than the last one.
Guardians has a lot to live up to.
Alien Covenant is hampered by its R rating and the fact it's a sequel to Prometheus.
Pirates 5. That ship has sailed. Pun intended. Did you know this movie was finished like two years ago, and Disney couldn't find a place on their schedule that wasn't already staked out by their own other better selling franchises like Marvel and Star Wars.
Wonder Woman is hampered by its connection to Warner Bros and DC.
The Mummy. Has a very bankable cast.
Transformers 5 will make more money than it has any right to.
Spider-Man. This one is up in the air. The last Spidey movie was a "disappointment". Sony can't afford another one of those.
War for the Planet of the Apes. Sadly won't make as much as it has a right to.
Valerian. I don't think this has a chance, but damn it looks fun.
So what do you think.
Rule numero uno. No Animated Movies. So Cars 3 and Despicable Me 3 and whatever other third sequels might be coming out. Studios should just slap 3 on all their animated movies and they'd make more. People are sheep.
Rule numero douche. It's all about the benjies. Not which movie is 'kewl' or 'boss' or 'exceptionally well made'. This is a race to the top of Scrooge McDuck's vault.
I left Kong, Beauty and the Beast, and Power Rangers off the list because they're a little too early in the year. Even though Beast will probably beat most everything else on the list.
The last slot came down to Valerian and Dark Tower, and since I haven't seen a trailer for Dark Tower, I gave the slot to Valerian.
Unlike last year, this field seems to be wide open. Each Furious movie seems to make more than the last one.
Guardians has a lot to live up to.
Alien Covenant is hampered by its R rating and the fact it's a sequel to Prometheus.
Pirates 5. That ship has sailed. Pun intended. Did you know this movie was finished like two years ago, and Disney couldn't find a place on their schedule that wasn't already staked out by their own other better selling franchises like Marvel and Star Wars.
Wonder Woman is hampered by its connection to Warner Bros and DC.
The Mummy. Has a very bankable cast.
Transformers 5 will make more money than it has any right to.
Spider-Man. This one is up in the air. The last Spidey movie was a "disappointment". Sony can't afford another one of those.
War for the Planet of the Apes. Sadly won't make as much as it has a right to.
Valerian. I don't think this has a chance, but damn it looks fun.
So what do you think.