the vynsane asylum

Endangered Species continues to be an enjoyable read. Beast has teamed up with AoA Dark Beast to find a cure for the mutant extinction problem. This is going to be the equivalent of a 6 issue LS, So I've no doubt it will be a TPB down the line.


Warren Ellis and Simone Bianchi will be the new team on Astonishing when Cassaday and Whedon leave. Bianchi's art is total meh for me, but I love Ellis. Especially his recent stuff in Thunderbolts and Nextwave. So I'll be sticking around for that.


And speaking of Bianchi...anybody catch the last issue of his and Jeph Loeb's Wolverine arc?!? HOLY FUCK!!!!

Well, well, well.

Messiah CompleX is the "biggest shake-up in twenty years of Mutant History" I'll believe that when I see it.

After that it's X-Men Disassembled. So far the only confirmed "shake-ups" are the cancellation of Cable/Deadpool and a new ongoing Cable book drawn by Ariel Ollivetti.

And a new ongoing X-Force book "drawn" by Clayton Crain featuring Wolverine, X-23, Warpath, and some freaky wolfie looking character. Wolfsbane? I dunno.

All I know is, I haven't shown up in years and frankly, I'm getting a little sick of all the no-love from that douchebag, Quesada. How about a Zero Limited Series? Huh? Joe? You fuck.

That whole arc of Wolverine is sitting in my room collecting dust... I read the first issue and it was so convoluted I haven't been able to finish it. Need to get on that, since I dropped the title and everything.

Uncanny 490: good thing for those 1 page "catch ups" at the beginnings of this title, because I wouldn't remember SHIT about what happened last month, even if I just read it 2 weeks ago. And this story hasn't been bad at all - the Morlocks are always cool (and not overused), Hepzibah and Warpath are actually kinda interesting.... and I love Storm, so seeing her more is great.

Why is Masque still in charge? You think after all this time the Morlocks would realize Masque is a douche and his interests usually aren't benevolent to the group as a whole. They are kind of directionless with no real goal as a group. Do they want to be left alone? Are they terrorist/freedom fighters? It changes with every Morlock story. And is Leech really still only six years old? Hes been around for 20 years! He should at least be a 'tween by now. Also, as an Alpha level mutant, I'm surprised the X-Men haven't kept any kind of track of him at all. Aren't they his legal guardians since early X-Factor? That makes no sense...



Some other "X" issues. I recently read the X4 limited series from a couple years ago. First off, Pat Lee may draw wicked giant robots, but his super hero art is atrocious. And this story didn't really need to be told. What struck me as funny is how many times they've gone back to the "cosmic radiation" well that gave the FF their powers. This seemingly "unique conditions" now seem to happen regularly whenever the Fantastic Four venture out into space. Wasn't it like a billion to one shot that it happened the first time around? Now it happens like every six months or so, but only when they manage to need to be in space. And this time it affects the four X-Men who are the mission with them. Gambit gets "flame" powers ala the human Torch, except he glows pink like his signature kinetic energy. Emma Frost, turns into a "Thing" except she's a diamond version and she keeps her shapely feminine curves. Nightcrawler exhibits the ability to turn invisible, but not apparently to make invisible...things like Sue Storm. The absurdest transformation is Wolverine getting Reed's stretching powers. This is as goofy as it sounds. Imagine Adamantium claws the length of a football field skewering a Fantasticar in mid air. Yup. Also, Sue Storm can apparently make invisible swords and cut things, like she's the Invisible Green Lantern? I'm pretty sure that's not how her powers work, unless you're a writer unfamiliar with the Fantastic Four and your editor is too much of a puss to rein you in. This same writer also stipulates Cyclops can't go on the mission in space because his eyeblasts might use up oxygen on the shuttle. Uhmmm..yeah, Cyclops eyebeams aren't energy, it's a concussive force. Do your research. And Cyclops can't go, but apparently it's okay for Gambit and his "I charge things up and make them explode" power isn't going to suck oxygen up? What do you think an explosion is, Mr. Science? And the absurdly forced "hero fight" in the first issue where the Fantastic Four just show up on the X school's front steps, and Wolverine slams the door in their face, and then the Thing KNOCKS the door down, and a huge melee ensues. What the fuck? This is how grown adults act? Then Emma asks why they didn't call first, and Reed Richards, smartest man on the planet, says "Well, we wanted to talk to you in person." Really, genius? But you still couldn't pick up a phone and say "Hey, we're gonna come over in about twenty minutes."?? Fuck me, super heroes are stupid.

The other thing I read which made me giggle out loud was in an issue of X-Force 100+ ( I forget which issue exactly, but it was close the the series demise) where James Proudstar has liberated some hi-tech machine guns from SHIELD and is using them. The paraphrased quote was "...they fire adamantium bullets one thousand rounds per second..."

One thousand rounds. Per second. Really? So in the time it took him to say that, he had theoretically fired off 5000 rounds or so. There were so many inconcievable things wrong with that statement, I couldn't believe it had made it past editorial. I know it's a comic book, but is it within the realm of physics for a weapon to chamber and fire 1000 rounds in a second? I don't think that's physically possible. We aren't even discussing the barrel heating/cooling issues, or the fact that the rig on his back where the alleged rounds were being fed from probably could hold 1000 rounds tops, which would make him run out of ammo, in exactly ONE SECOND (and I'm being generous with the storage capacity of the ammo rig). Not to mention the fact that, even if you were superhumanly strong ( like Warpath is) and could control the recoil on a weapon firing 1000 rounds a second, you wouldn't have time to aim it anything before your thousand rounds were spent. So basically, if you were shooting at, say, a Skrull or a Brood, the first one is pretty much puree by the thousand rounds PER SECOND. Then you have an empty gun, and a bunch of other villainous monsters running at you and your empty gun. And another thing. Adamantium bullets? Isn't adamantium a fairly rare substance in the Marvel Universe? At least, SOLID adamantium? And if so, would you really waste it on making bullets for a gun that fires 1000 rounds per second, knowing that ALL that adamantium is going to mince up ONE target that probably would have succumbed to a single adamantium bullet just fine? But apparently SHIELD has these 1000 RPS gatling guns just laying around on the helicarrier for Mutants to cherry pick whenever they need to fight evil invading mutated cyborg monsters.

I'm a firm believer of Suspension of Disbelief, but c'mon guys...

Hell, I don't even roll my eyes at that stuff anymore. About the Morlocks - a couple of things came into my mind: A) Damn, I've missed a lot of Morlock stories and B) I think the big group must have splintered off into smaller factions. Obviously Masque has come up with a few followers - I'd suggest they're likely the very week minded type who will glom on to any leader just so they don't have to make any decisions. He's very obviously a douchey character.

well, not like you can count them, but check this out...

http://www.goyk.com/video.asp?path=516

maybe you can count them, zero... you're a robot...

Beats the hell out of my slingshot.

So, Messiah CompleX will be the end of the X-Men, eh? I'm guessing not. I'll buy the one-shot and Uncanny, but that's it - meaning I'll miss pretty much the whole thing, much the same as the current backup story. Yawn.

I'll give you the highlights.

You go, Twiki!

I really enjoyed the Grant Morrison run on New X-Men (what I read of it, which was a good chunk), even if I thought it might've been better as an "alternate" title. Not "alternate reality," but not the one a ten year old kid can pick up at Waldenbooks after seeing the Evolutions cartoon on Saturday morning. But when they retconned everything he did out of existence literally the next fucking month after he left, it took the bite out of it and really pissed me off so badly at Marvel that I can't read anything they put out now. Why bring in a kick-ass, reknowned writer like Morrison to shake things up if it's all back to status quo the next month? (They've left Jean dead. That's about it. For the next year or two, at least.)

I always thought that, if they're going to have Uncanny and New X-Men (or, later, Astonishing), there should be one team, and two different writers with very, very different approaches. Have one essentially be the kids' book (or at least the less edgy, more superheroic title), and the other the more "mature" version. Like in one book, they fight Apocalypse or whatever, and in the other, they're back at the mansion being disfunctional. All tied very closely together, so they are one storyline that complement each other. That was sorta the approach Morrison took, only his "team" very, very rarely actually had any adventures.

But, no, Marvel doesn't think that way. Marvel doesn't even have the smarts to realize that, done right, Punisher MAX and Punisher War Journal could be one cohesive whole, telling different parts of the same guy's life story in two very different ways. No, the way it looks to me (admittedly an outsider), MAX tells the good stories, but with no superhumans at all, and War Journal is Matt Fraction jerking off the dumbest fanboys in existence.

Messiah Complex (I will NOT add the capital letter at the end of Complex - I find that shit hokey, ever since "X-Cutioner's Song") is taking up space in the 4 core X-books.

I'm assuming this all must take place after whatever happens in Astonishing X-Men 24 and the Giant Sized finale?

Where does the Wolverine solo series fall into this continuity? Are they dealing with stories from the past like Origins, or is it supposed to be current?

I don't think they are, but are any characters involved in MC off in space with Havok dealing with Vulcan, or were they careful enough to avoid that (I haven't read the first two issues, I'm saving it to read the whole set at once)?

My feelings on this are frighteningly in line with Twiki's.... I'm sadly very close to dropping Uncanny... it's not like I can't go back and fill it in later if I get the bug - it would just be very odd to be not getting that book.

From my understanding, the writers and editors at Marvel are getting the same vibe as we are about the convolutedness of the X-Books. I think this Messiah CompleX and the following "X-Men Dissassembled" (if that's what they'll be calling it) storylines are drastic reboot efforts to give the X-Men a purpose again. Which is: 1. Find New Mutants 2. Protect them. 3. Bring them into the school. Since the amount of mutants has dwindled to nothing, the stakes are high for each mutant they find. And if they only have pretty much one "bad guy" team, the Marauders, then the purpose is pretty delineated. X-Men Agenda: Good. Marauder Agenda: Bad. You can still have moral conflict, because the end goals of Mr. Sinister, etc are still believable ( it's what made Magneto such a great rounded character.) especially in recent light of what Prof X has done all this time ( Prof X is one of the biggest douches in the Marvel Universe. had the X-Men known about his two faced, duplicitous, hypocritical ass, they would've sided with Magneto years ago.). In any case, this new X-Men run will have a clear purpose and ALL the X-Men past, and present will be on baord. No more X-Factor, and ExCalibur, and shit like that. Just a big team, operating out of Westchester, saving one newfound mutant at a time before the bad guys get to them.

So what I think will happen is they will turn Uncanny into a multi weekly book like they are doing Amazing Spidey. They will do away with all these Limited Series where important things keep happening like Deadly Genesis. And Adjectiveless X-Men will go bye bye. I suspect Uncanny wil then just become plain old "X-Men".