So, What comics did you buy this week?

[Tom Foolery]

Here was 4/8s books from three(!) weeks ago. Yikes. Falling behind on my reading.

Absolute Green Lantern 13. We diverge from main story again to travel to the planet Rann where an Overseer(the Adam Strange of this universe) has been tasked with tracking the rogue GL elements leaving Earth. Allana is a Darkstar in this world and she killed her own father, who was branded a radical for designing his Zeta Beam. Dark stuff. This series is getting more interesting with each issue.

Amazing Spidey 26. Death Spiral continues. Torment has bonded with Carnage. Spidey and MJ take Eddie to the hospital. Then Spidey has to go rescue a cousin he didn’t know he had from Torment.

Dark Knight Triumphant. Facsimile reprint of the 2nd DKR issue. Batman defeats the mutant leader. Jim Gordon is replaced as Commissioner.

Black Cat 9. Felicia and MJ spend several years in an alt dimension the Seige Perilous sent them to. MJ is a famous actress, and Felicia is a frumpy housewife and mother to Peter’s kids. Then the sometime hero Singularity finds them and pulls them back into their own dimension.

Fury of Firestorm 1. A new ongoing from Jeff Lemire. Firestorm lands in a small Colorado town and proceeds to turn everyone into salt. The govt calls in Firehawk to figure out what happened to Firestorm, and she realizes the Firestorm matrix is acting independently, without the control of either Ronnie or the Professor. Scary stuff.

GIJoe:ARAH 327. An all girls team of CoverGirl, Jinx, Dawn, Sherlock, and Long Range on a mission in Sierra Gordo where Revanche has built another TerrorDrome.

GIJoeARAH Silent Missions:Crimson Guardsman oneshot. Gabriel Hardman draws an excellent issue where a recently promoted CG has to help Cobra Commander escape a full on Joe assault on Cobra Island.

Sirens:Love Hurts 3. Black Canary and the Sirens continue to track down a serial killer while Dinah is preparing for her upcoming wedding. Lots of ‘f’ words, but the story is pretty blah. I’m sorry I wasted the money on this series.

Iron Man 4. Trapped on AIMs helicarrier, Tony makes contact with the surviving kidnapped geniuses and helps them escape. But before he can go with them, he’s confronted by the Fixer in his Advanced Iron Man armor.(A.I.M. Get it?)

Knull 4. Knull confronts that alt-universe Eddie Brock who’s made of light. After a bunch of monologuing, Knull kills him and absorbs his power then returns to the main universe just in time for round two with Thanos.

Moonstar 2. Dani Moonstar is tracking down the evil
guy with the mystic sword. Eh.

Psylocke:Ninja 4. To help rescue Jubilee from Aardwolf and the SnakeRoot ninjas, Psylocke has to track down Elektra for a team up.

Star Wars:Shadow of Maul 2. Maul is hardly in this. Mostly it’s the vice cop trying to outsmart two rival crime lords by pitting them against each other. Which is fine, but just don’t throw Maul’s name on the cover to sell books.

Action Comics 1097. J’onn J’onnz, Booster Gold, and Mary Marvel have traveled into the past to get Superboy’s help in defeating a time traveler. Without spilling too much info on Clark’s destiny in the future.

Mortal Thor. Sigurd has to fight the Radioactive Man with nothing but a hammer.

Transformers 31. We flashback to the 10,000 trials the Quintessons put Megatron thru before he broke and pledged himself to Megatronus.

The End 2099 5. Mephisto’s heroes retrieve the Ultimate Nullifier and convince Galactus to reject Knull’s bond with him and destroy them both. Mephisto gives Dracula Galactus’ heart and the rest of the heroes return to Earth to continue to fight evil. So it wasn’t The End after all. Maybe it was just Steve Orlando wrapping up his story arc over the last several 2099 minis.

Web of Venom oneshot. Fred Myers aka Boomerang, gets his own symbiote and tries being a hero with it.

Wolverine 18. Wolverine finds Romulus’ dead body in the forest, and then gets into a huge fight with Hercules, who has been possessed by the Adamantine spirit. Ugh.

Uncanny X-Men 26. The Outliers are all having bad dreams and wake up in the past as an alt version of the New Mutants when they first got recruited as the next mutant team.

Uncanny X-Men Annual 1. Because all annuals are numbered ‘1’. Recounts the first team up of the 19th century mutant team, the Regulators, as they protect Haven House from racist rednecks. And look, the ubiquitous Logan is there, because apparently his super power is to cross paths and be present for any culturally significant moment in the last 150 years. Ugh. Just go away Logan.

Next up, 3/15s books.

[Tom Foolery]

4/15’s books.

Absolute Batman 19. We are introduced to Absolute Scarecrow(which is a pretty terrifying design tbh). Then Mayor Gordon brings Bruce a secret file called Project:Batman, the contents of which upset Bruce when he reads them. Then Gordon THROWS HIMSELF OFF THE ROOF and everyone sees Batman up there, so now they assume Batman just murdered the Mayor! What the fuck?? And finally Jack Grimm begins a new program for the orphans of Gotham to help change the city for the better. Several kids sign up, and we see their names on the signature lines of the applications. Steph, Tim, Jason, Duke, and Dick are now part of Project:Robin.

Batwoman 2. A bunch of villains lure Kate to a rooftop confrontation. Her dad realizes shes walking into a trap and goes to rescue her. When he gets stabbed in the shoulder, Kate breaks out her guns and just mows them all down. I’m not impressed so far. I’m debating on giving Rucka the full first arc or just another issue before I drop this.

Catwoman 86. Black Mask intensifies his revenge plot on Selina by kidnapping both Holly and possibly Selina’s sister Maggie.

Cyclops 2. Scott is running around the forest blind after the Reavers shot down his plane. He comes across the escaped mutant the Reavers are hunting and agrees to help her rescue the other imprisoned mutants, but first they have to make it to the plane wreckage where he has a backup visor.

Deathstroke 2. So the writer killed Slades “guy in the chair” so they could introduce a new “guy in the chair” for him to interact with? Then he gets caught in an ambush by…Deadshot and Deathblow. Get it? Because it’s a bunch of DC characters with ‘dead’ in their names. Is this a fifth grader’s fan fiction? Also, isn’t Deadshot dead? They killed him off in a Suicide Squad series a few years ago. He was a zombie in TaskForceZ.

Planet of the Apes vs the FF 3. Dr Doom and the Red Ghost have plans to take over the PotA. Reed figures out the Planet is actually Earth of the future.

GIJoe 21. Snowjob and CoverGirl have been tasked with pulling Scarlet out of her undercover assignment with the Arishikage clan. Cobra attacks the ninja clan to steal Stormshadow’s nifty Energon sword. And it’s the 21st issue…so it was a SILENT ISSUE. Coooool.

GIJoeARAH Silent Missions:Zartan oneshot. Zartan poses as Wild Bill to steal some funky weapon from the Joes, then double crosses Cobra to keep the weapon for himself.

Godzilla:Infinity Roar 3. Odin and Asgard prepare for Godzillas assault, while Reed helps Galactus recuperate from G’s beat down from last issue. Silver Surfer shows up to take back the power cosmic from Godzilla. Meanwhile, Dr Doom decides everyone is fucking this whole Godzilla situation up, so he decided to step in and consults with the Ancient One, but he’s been infected by Knull.

Imperial Guardians 2. The Guardians have to keep a secret cached Shi’Ar war fleet out of the hands of a minor galactic alien empire who wants the fleet to sit at the big boy table of the Galactic Union.

Lobo 2. Lobo’s new corporate sponsors want to change his looks and demeanor to better fit in with what the focus groups feedback say will lead to higher ratings. Doesn’t work out to well. This book is hilarious. Recommended.

Magik and Colossus 3. Poitr has to go rescue Illyana from the upstart magic user who kidnapped her last issue and is forcing her to fight in gladiator tournaments. This series has been kinda blah.

Nightwing 137. NW teams up with Batman to stop a pair of snipers who are holding a bridge hostage from either side.

Storm 3. Storm confronts a mysterious astronaut who turns out to be an alt-universe version of her mother. The Impending War continues to draw closer.

New Titans 34. So apparently after DC KO, Victor was split into two entities, a completely human version, and a completely ‘Cyborg’ version(which technically is just a robot, but I’m not here to quibble semantics) and this robot version is keeping his teammates in a VR works for their own “protection” that the ‘New’ Titans are trying to rescue them from. I keep being disappointed in this series. Which sucks because I’ve almost filled in the gaps for a full run and I might have to drop it for like the eight time.

Ultimate Wolverine 16. Final Issue. Logan and Jean find a way into Limbo to finish off Illyana for good. When he finds her, she’s just a little girl and asks him to read her a story, and he’s like ‘nah bitch you made the real world a shitty place’ and stabs her.

Venom 257. Death Spiral Part 8. Spidey and Venom finally confront Torment/Carnage. But Torment doesn’t like Carnage’s unpredictable approach to serial killing and un-bonds with the symbiote, using Shocker’s vibro gloves to destroy the Sym. After he blasts MJ-Venom, he stabs a distracted Peter with what’s left of the Carnage tendrils and makes his escape. A dying Peter is forced to bind with the dying Carnage for them both to survive. OH SHIT…Spider-Carnage! What a dope cliffhanger ending. It’s why I love comics.

Wonder Woman 32. Wonder War continues. In the future, Diana and Trinity assault Themyscira. It seems they are invading the island to rescue Superman, but the last page twist reveals they are there looking for the very much alive Steve Trevor. Hotcha!

Inglorious X-Force 4. Cable is assaulted by Domino, who gets interrupted by BoomBoom. But Domino’s luck powers make Tabitha’s bomb backfire. In the aftermath, Cable assumes the only suspect left is Warren. But their next mission reveals Mr Sinister as the secret villain. Yawn.

X-Men United 2. Capt America asks Emma Frost to help him track down survivors of the Operation:Rebirth experiments using telepathy. A team of X-Men goes into the mindscape, but they get separated at different points in the guy’s memory.

And now I’m gonna read 4/22’s books and be back on track.