Football

[Tom Foolery]

The day keeps getting better. Both the Cowboys and Jets got embarrassed in the late games. To all the Cowboys fans who’ve been clamoring for them to put Trey Lance in, you got what you asked for. The Niners dodged a bullet with him. And who doesn’t delight in Aaron Rodgers getting his ass handed to him? Dickwad.

And the evening is capped with a win they had no business getting. Five interceptions??
And BOTH of those field goals kissed the uprights. Holy shit, I was sweating. But a win is a win.

[Ran]

Everyone loved Favre, then he turned out to be a dick. Then everyone loved Rodgers, who also became a dick. What's the chances Jordan Love also becomes a dick?

[Tom Foolery]

I was only rooting for the Bears because it would’ve put GB back another game. Game ending blocked field goals are heartbreaking.
Titans let me down.
Colts beat the Jets. Yay! Fuck you, Rodgers. Dickmunch.

But Lions owned their game so hard, they could put their QB2 Hendon Hooker in for the last quarter. That’s a pleasant non-stressful feeling.

Next up, Go Bills!

[Ran]

The 4th quarter just started. My butthole puckers a bit every time the Bills bring out their kicker. Either the outcome is awesome or devastating.

[Tom Foolery]

YESSS!

What a sweet way to end the game. He only needed the two yards, and just went for it.

[Ran]

On Josh Allen's TD run, I started yelling "GO! GO! GO!" at the tv. The dogs looked up at me and tilted their heads between 45° and 60° in confusion.

The interception at the end was a nice touch. I just happen to be playing my old boss in fantasy football this week. She stated Mahomes, so that was a nice -2 points for her.

[Tom Foolery]

Several nailbiters in the early games. The Bears, Texans, Panthers, and Commanders all fought back in the final minutes to give themselves a chance to win. None of them did, but solid efforts. Especially the Panthers against KC.

Bears also with the herculean effort to get the onside kick back, then tie it up to go into overtime. Then let me down by not gifting us a two-game buffer in the North. Now watch them get their shit together by Thursday and beat us.

Annnnnddd…neither the Niners nor the Rams could give us any help in the late games. Bleh.

[Tom Foolery]

What the fuck. My blood pressure right now.
I was having flashbacks to last years NFC game.
Ain’t gonna win no super bowls like that, homeys.

[jjreason]

I'm a Bears guy but I did not want them slowing down the Lions' season today. Absolutely terrible game management at the end by everyone in dark blue.

[Tom Foolery]

I'm a Bears guy but I did not want them slowing down the Lions' season today. Absolutely terrible game management at the end by everyone in dark blue.

I was like “does he think the game clock is the play clock?”
Didn’t they have timeouts left?

The Bears aren’t as bad as their record. They are a Hail Mary and a couple blocked FGs away from being 8-4 on the season and in the thick of the playoff race.

[jjreason]

They had one timeout left. I think the coach thought Caleb was going to spike the ball & I think Caleb thought the coach was going to call timeout. Either way, the coach is getting fired I'd wager. And yes, they're better than their record. I have what feels like a bit of hope. Let's get the Lions into the Superbowl first & then I can go back to actually rooting for my favorite team again.

[Ran]

They had one timeout left. I think the coach thought Caleb was going to spike the ball & I think Caleb thought the coach was going to call timeout. Either way, the coach is getting fired I'd wager. And yes, they're better than their record. I have what feels like a bit of hope. Let's get the Lions into the Superbowl first & then I can go back to actually rooting for my favorite team again.

If only there was some sort of device that would let the coach communicate with the quarterback while he was on the field.

[Ran]

Chicago fired the coach. And...

Adam Schefter
@AdamSchefter
This now marks the third consecutive time over the past decade that the Bears drafted a quarterback in the first round only to fire their head coach later that season.

[Tom Foolery]

They shoulda not even let him get back on the team jet.

And this isn’t getting much attention because of the end of the game, but I’m hella salty at Williams getting that dead ball foul after he threw the ball at the guy’s head on the sideline. Dumbass. Do you see what’s happening in the game? We coulda put it away on that drive if not for your stupid childish antics. Fucking punk.

[Tom Foolery]

Dammit Arizona.

And the Ravens can’t do us a solid either. I swear, 28 useless NFL teams. Ironically, I have to rely on the Bears, Packers, and Vikings to hand losses to the Vikings, Packers, and Bears.

The way our defense is getting decimated, it’s gonna be rough sailing keeping that one seed without LITERALLY ANY FUCKING HELP FROM ANY GODDAMN TEAM. Fuck off, Justin Tucker, you useless fuck.