So, What comics did you buy this week?

[Rollo Tomassi]

Has it been a week already? It has. Which means another batch of twitter-like Comic Reviews. I got twenty books this week, and stepped over my "No Event" line in the sand three times. Oy. Here's what I got.

Amazing Spidey 661. Chris Gage takes over writing for a couple issues to give Slott a break, but it's all good because he guest stars his own Avengers Academy Kids with Spidey as a substitute teacher. Its like getting an extra issue of Avengers Academy!

Alpha Flight .01 Let me first just point out that the absurdity of making this a "Point One" issue makes my teeth grate. Point One issues are "jumping on" issues for new readers. Since this is THE FIRST ISSUE of the series, isnt it already a defacto jumping on point? Just stupid. But as for the issue itself, I was leary of buying it because the Chaos War Oneshot where they all came back to life was stupid beyond belief, and Alpha Flight as a whole is a rather inane concept when its not as a supporting superteam in another book like X-Men. So I wasn't expecting much and just wanted to read the book to confirm my suspicions a new ongoing would be equally lame. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your attitude) the book was decent and the art was good. I didn't like that they made PurpleGirl a villain as she was the only member of BetaFlight that didn't suck, but now I'm torn whether I want to continue with the ser...oh wait check that. The ongoing directly ties into Fear Itself. Damn, it just sunk itself.

Avengers 13. A "Fear Itself" tie in. yeah, I broke my rule. But I flipped through it just to make sure, and there was only one page and a few panels that had anything to do with FI and it didn't give away any more than the bajillion in house ads Marvel is running in every single book for the next eight months. Mostly it was another talking heads issue. The "moment" between Hawkeye and Spider-Woman has hilariously well done.

Avengers Academy 14. The Academy kids fight the Sinister Six and get their butts handed to them. Seriously, Marvel is intent on making Doc Ock a serious A-list threat. Another entertaining outing. Top Five.

Batman 710. Two Face is back. He can't find his coin, so he's killing LOTS of people. And in a shocking final page, his wife Gilda Dent is back. (I'm fuzzy on the history there. Was she dead?)

Batman and Robin 23. A flippant Jason Todd is back, and it seems like DC is intent on turning him into the DC version of Frank Castle. The anti-hero villain killer. Next to him, all the other Batpeople like Dick and Bruce seem to turn into priggy altruists. Considering the historical revolving door of places like Arkham, its hard not to take Jason's pragmatic view on dealing with these guys.

Booster Gold 44. The ONLY Flashpoint book i'll be getting. Because I just last week got caught up on this series, finding the last two back issues I needed, and I don't want an interrupted run. And also because the book is good, Event tie-ins notwithstanding.

GIJoe ARAH 166. A three way naval battle between Destro's escaping submarine, the Joes on the WHALE and the SHARC, and Cobra sending Morays after both of them. As always, the action comes fast and furious, like it did in the 80s.

Snake-Eyes 1. Cobra Civil War continues. SE finds a lead on who killed his ninja force that sends him and Helix, Alpine, and Frostbite high into the himalayas. An intense fight with some Ice Vipers ensues. Another great issue.

Hawkeye:Blindspot 4. Meh. Hawkeye fights his brother, then gets his eyesight miraculaously restored by some macguffin procedure that Pym, Richards, and Stark concoct.l Weak sauce ending.

Hulk 33. I only intermittently buy this book, but I noticed it dropped in price from $3.99 to $2.99. Red Hulk is being attacked by more than one crazy villain each with different agendas and he hasn't slept in two months because if he reverts back to Ross, the nanites in his head kill him.

Iron Man 504. The other "fear itself Tie in. Which is a full on tie in, but Iron Man has been a consistently awesome read for three years now, so I wasn't about to drop it beause of a silly event. Anyway, IM fights a god-powered Grey Gargoyle who has turned every man woman and child in Paris into stone. And then apparently on the last page reduced them all to rubble. Wow, sucks for France huh?

Namor Annual 1. The end of the the annual "crossover" with X-Men and Steve Rogers. Namor goes crazy in the negative zone. An unnecessary storyline where not much happened.

Teen Titans 95. The Titans continue to fight some other dimensional baddie.

Thunderbolts 157. The new team and the old team team up to fight some...I can't even remember. This book is spinning its wheels and it bores me. It seems a waste after I spent so much time finishing the entire run to drop it now, but...

Transformers 19. When last we saw HotRodimus, he had been blasted by Megatron and left to drift thru space with the Matrix around his neck. Now we finds hes alive and is rescued by...Wheelie?!

Ultimate Spidey 158. 'The Death of Spider-Man" continues. Needed an extra book to fill out my twenty. And they're killing him off. I was intrigued.

X-Factor 219. The conclusion of the Black Cat/J Jonah story. X-Factor swoops in and saves Black Cat with their usual witty banter. But an unusually pedestrian effort otherwise.

X-Men Giant Size 1. Note the semantic difference between Giant Size X-Men and this title. Supposedly a kick off to yet another storyline running thru the third X-Men book. I thought it was going to be a time travelling adventure where the first five X-Men encounter the current team. But it wasnt. I was let down. And I shan't be getting the rest of the story.

X-Men:Prelude to Schism 2. This issue focuses on Magneto and gives a fair recounting/recap of his youth as a jew in 1930s Germany, as well as his first encounters with the man he now pledges allegiance to: Scott Summers.

[anarky]

The Joe previews I've seen online had two minor errors, but errors an editor should've caught. Makes me glad that they'll be getting a new editor, maybe one who pays more attention.

In Snake Eyes #1, the bodies of Ninja Force are wearing their 1990s costumes. In Cobra Civil War #0, they were wearing standard green Joe uniforms; the 1990s costumes probably never existed in this continuity.

In GIJoe: ARAH 166, Deep Six seems way too talkative. He was always aloof to the point of being creepy in the original series. I'd chalk it up to Hama not immediately remembering a character he last wrote, what, 30 years ago? (Trying to think of Deep Six's last appearance in the original series. Not coming up with anything since the formation of Cobra Island.) But an editor should've caught it and suggested switching the dialogue a bit. Unless we're to assume Deep Six got some therapy in the ensuing 100+ issues since we saw him last.

[jjreason]

FF 2,3
ASM ***, *** (and possibly *** as well, not sure)
DD ltd series 4
Black Panther (in DD's old series) ***
Avengers or New Avengers number something, whatever came out this week.
Some Avengers one-shot that may have been Fear Itself related that was written by BMB.

Yes, I was too lazy to go back upstairs and get the comics so I could put the right numbers in. Don't judge me.

[Diabolical]

Don't judge me.

Oh, I'll judge. I'm an American, thats what we do.

[jjreason]

Judge, jury & exemotherfuckingcutioner - just ask Bin Hidin.

[Rollo Tomassi]

21 books this week, because one of them was in the $1 bin. And I broke the "No Event" rule once. But considering I skipped two other ongoings (Secret Avengers, and Iron Man 2.0) and officially deliberately left breaks in the runs of both those titles, I'd say you all owe me a slap on the back and hearty 'job well done'.
Here's what I got.

Amazing Spidey 662. Spidey shows the Avengers Academy kids that "With great power...yadda yadda" as they fight Psycho-man.

Detective Comics 877. Dick escapes from a car crusher and we get a couple new rogues in Batman's Gallery. Which is good from time to time. You can only fight Two-Face so many times before it gets ridiculous. I'm liking 'Tec because its staying away from Morrison's opus.

Batman:Arkham City 1. Needed a couple extra books to round up to 20, so I grabbed this from a few weeks back. It's the comic that takes place between the first and second game.

Captain America 618. Ohmigosh! Somebody is setting BuckyCap up! Steve, Tasha, and Sharon rush to figure things out before Bucky is re-rebrainwashed into a Soviet Assassin...again.

Speaker For The Dead 5. The series concludes, but the story is just beginning. Hopefully Xenocide and Children of the Mind are just around the corner.

FF 4. Val's brainrust of baddies confer with Reed and Doom. Meanwhile the Evil Reed's make their first move on the coalition of Old Atlantis and Sue, Spidey, and Alex Powers gets ambushed. The fucking awesomeness continues.

Fear Itself:Spider-Man 1. I bought a FI book! Because I needed to round up 20! And it had a cool cover!! but I have no intention of reading it until I get the rest of the FI books out of the dollar bin next year. So there. Mnyah.

GIJoe: Cobra 1. I got the Serpentor cover. Baroness and the other challengers butt heads, and Serpentor reveals he has a mole inside GIJoe. Gasp! Honestly, I'd a been more impressed if it was an established Joe. But Costa and Fuso pick up right where they left off on this third Cobra series.

Green Lantern 66, GL Corps 60, and GL:Emerald Warriors 10. The War of the Green Lanterns continues in chapters 7, 8, and 9. I still haven't read them, but I'll sit down in the next week or so and get all caught up. I did however accidentally glom onto the fact Mogo, the GL Planet gets executed by John Stewart. Man, Stewart has shitty luck with not killing entire planets. Just about every other DC character is planet kill free, and Johnny's racked up TWO now.

Incredible Hulks 629. After over a decade (seriously, Betty "died" way back in what '99?) Bruce and Betty are finally reunited. Awwwww...it lasts about five panels. Bruce, like a dolt turns back into the Hulk and Betty realizes that's NEVER NOT going to come between them, so she says fuck it and turns back into RedShe Hulk and takes off with Tyrannus. Sucks to be Bruce.

Namor 10. In this penultimate issue, Namor's future son comes back thru time to warn his mother to NOT get together with Namor or bad things happen.

Secret Warriors 27. "Do you have any last words?" "Yes." "Too FUCKN' Bad!!" BLAM BLAM BLAM And so ends the bitter rivalry between Baron Strucker and Nick Fury. Only one more issue to go. This comic has been so fuckin' cool for all 28 issues. I can't even begin to describe...it's a masterpiece of storytelling.

Mighty Thor 2. Galactus wants to eat..uhh...Asgard.

Transformers: Heart of Darkness 3. Galvatron goes about ressurrecting millions of fallen Autobots and Decepticons from the Cybertron Civil War, in order to battle the coming darkness. its odd to see Galvy cast in the role of Savior. And on the last page, a back from the dead Nemesis Prime shows up. Awww yeahh Boyee!! Its on now muthahfuckah!!

Wolverine 9. Ugh. So this new badguy shoots a bullet into Argentina, and it comes out and kills some guy in Singapore? My suspension bridge of disbelief can only support so much weight. Oh, and Wolverine kills Mystique. But luckily the deus ex machina of the Hand Ninjas are there, so presumably she'll be dead for all of an issue.

Astonishing X-Men 36. Picked this up for a buck. I believe I'm only an issue behind on this series. Not bad considering I haven't paid full price since Whedon left on issue 25.

Uncanny X-Men 537. The Breakworld guy challenges Colossus to a fight, but inhibits his ability to armor up. Also, he somehow slashes Kitty's throat even though she's stuck intangible. I can't explain it.

X-Men Legacy 249. Magneto and Rogue hook up. And Frenzy decides to become an X-Men. Yay! That only took like 25 years, but whatever. Oh, and Magneto and Rogue hook up.

X-Men: Earth's Mutant Heroes oneshot. One of them Official Handbook type dealies. With a lot of C-Listers and a couple big name profiles like Magneto, Beast, Emma, etc to not make you feel like you wasted $5. But unless you were really wondering whats going on with Tom Corsi, or Paulie Provenzano, or heaven forfend Bird-Brain (sweet christmas New Mutants sucked for awhile didn't it?) you can skip this one.

[jjreason]

FF has been awesome. Looking forward to number 4!

[anarky]

Has the betting started on how long Torch will stay dead, and how long until FF means "Fantastic Four" again, and how long until it reverts to the original numbering?

It's a tangent, but I seem to recall one of the higher-ups saying that, in light of the media response to the deaths of Cap and Torch (and comic book media's response to Nightcrawler), they plan to do one major death per quarter. Judging by the current "Death of Spider-Man" story in Ultimates, and the anticipation that Cyclops will die during Schism, this looks quite possible. They definitely have enough "major" characters to do it, especially when you count the UU. And I'm sure most will come back so they can die again.

Sigh. I really hate when the death of a character is a sales ploy or marketing stunt. It worked for Superman, because it was a really well-done story (fuck the 90s haters) that focused quite a bit on the ramifications, and because no one expected Superman to stay dead. It worked in the Trucial Abysmia storyline in GIJoe, because it went from letters of "Please kill some characters so that this war comic is more realistic" to one of the greatest fuck yous ever with "You wanted realism? Doc's dead. And Quick-Kick's reaction will be more moving in a few short panels than any other comic book death in the next twenty years."

[Rollo Tomassi]

Its been long speculated that FF 12 will be FantasticFour 600. But whether it is or isn't, Hickman's run has been so pardon the pun Fantastic, whatever he does is fine with me.

And while I agree generally about the apathetic disdain for 'death' in the funny books, I wouldn't use Hickman's FF run as the prime example of how wrong that institution is. That book is some of the finest comic bookin' I've read in the last 30 years of readin'.

[jjreason]

And I've only just gotten back on board after not reading much after Waid left, but yeah, it's good. And yeah, Johnny will be back. He died in the Negative Zone ffs, so he likely got born some place in the regular universe & they'll just have to find him and age him. Easy peasy for a nerd like Reed Richards.

[anarky]

Yeah, but if the media response is what clinched the decision to kill someone every quarter, that's a bad thing. Death's being handled overall even worse than it was in the 1990s. You simply cannot have a death on a team book and have the team act like business as usual the next issue. People don't work that way.

It does seem, based on everything I've read and heard about it, that Torch's death was an organic, logical step in the story, and not the clusterfuck sort of death DC seems to specialize in lately. But it was mishandled by Marvel in the mainstream press. Sort of like Doomsday and Funeral for a Friend. The whole "get non-readers into the store to only buy the death issue because they think they can pay for their grandkids' college" thing went out in 1994. It's a temporary sales bump at best, and jades people who aren't familiar with the revolving door policies at the major publishers. I'm sure there are people who still say "Robin's dead, so why's he in this comic?" without knowing that that one's back and there've been three Robins since.

(The death of Superman, I'm sure you'll recall, was just going to be another Superman story until DC decided to make the biggest fucking media blitz about it. I know Funeral for a Friend was the logical next step, but I've always wondered how much of Reign of the Supermen was pushed by editorial.)

There are definitely exceptions, sure, but for every Human Torch or Boy Blue, it seems like there are a dozen Ventriloquists or Sue Dibnys. To be honest, the new GIJoe comic has been really bad about this--tons of characters show up to die. It doesn't matter if the guy's named Bazooka, it's not a shock or meaningful if we never saw this universe's Bazooka until he got wacked.

[Rollo Tomassi]

If I remember correctly, I think that "one death every quarter" thing was some tongue-in-cheek crack that Brevoort or somebody(maybe one of the marketing muckity-mucks) made. After he got taken to task for it, he recanted saying it was a joke.

[Rollo Tomassi]

A light week with only 12 books. I had 16 on my list, but a couple didn't ship, and the others I decided not to get because of 'Fear Itself'. Like Thunderbolts.

Amazing Spidey 663. Anti-Venom knows Mr. Negative's secret. Spidey does not. So when Eddie tries to kill Mr. Li and Spidey tries to save New York's nicest philanthropist, natch AV thinks Spidey's a no-goodnik. Oh and there's a new Wraith and its...Jean DeWolfe?!? WTF?!?! HA HA This book is awesome.

Avengers Academy 14.1 One o' them Point One introductory issue dealies. The Academy kids meet some of Osborn's recruits who weren't brought into the Academy. Turns out one of them is a real douche and a contender for their new super-nemesis.

Dark Tower: Battle of Tull 1. Haven't read a Dark Tower series since Jericho Hill. But this one is the story of Tull, which we all know is the beginning of the actual novels. And Mike Lark is drawing it, so I figured now was a good time to give it another try.

GIJoe 2. Some guy (I still have to assume its Zartan) is running through the Pit to assassinate the Cobra Guy that got snagged during the MASS story arc. And he let Stormshadow into the base to wreak havoc. And in Washington, Hawk and Mainframe get ambushed by more Cobra Agents posing as secret security. The Cobra Civil War continues!!! (Although, is it technically a civil war? Its more of a contest, right? Like the Cobra Olympics. Or Cobra: American Idol.)

Heroes For Hire 8. Spidey, Misty, Paladin, and a nekked Satana fight some badguys. Misty gets a step closer to finding out who mysterious shady guy is. Alas, next issue starts the Fear Itself crossover tomfollery, so I shan't be getting it.

Jonah Hex 68. Another excellent Hex tale. It makes me sad to realize this book is ending in two issues. *sniff*

Official Marvel Index 14. More Avengers and Captain America looniness. The Cap stuff is all the way up to Cap Reborn, so this series must be almost over.

Transformers 20. Hot Rod and Wheelie make it back to Cybertron, and hook up with Ironhide and Sunstreaker. Ironhide doesn't remember that HotRod is the guy that got him killed on Earth, and Sunstreaker doesn't want Rodimus rockin' the boat. Then Galvatron shows up, presumably after the events of Heart of Darkness 4, which comes out next week. Oh, and they give a "checklist" of the Chaos storyline in which TF goes bi-weekly through December, up to issue 31. Followed by an intriguing issue #125. Wha huh?? Starting with Infiltration and including the Spotlights and the minis and the rest, have there been 125 issues of IDW's TF saga?

Secret Six 34. I got choked up with this issue. When Scandal skewers the guy that kidnapped her girlfriend right through the face with her blades, and then asks one of the guys to hold her, I just...I got teary. Because Gail Simone has made this band of miscreants the most human characters in the entire DCU, and possibly in comics. They're the "bad guys" and i care more about them than I do just about anybody else. And with yesterday's announcement, I realized that I've only got two more issues to say goodbye, and it makes me sad. For me at least, this series will stand alongside some of the finest work ever done in this medium, and I've been proud and happy to be part of the small group of loyal readers from the first issue of Villains United up to the final issue in August. Well done, Ms. Simone. And thank you.

Wolverine/Hercules 4. Feh. An unremarkable series. Sorry I spent the 4 months and $12 bucks on it.

Wonder Woman 611. So. Is this entire odyssey being rendered moot come August? It's had some moments of goodness, but mostly its been rather dull and unremarkable. And now it seems to be irrelevant as well. Smoke my cock, DC.

X-Factor 220. Rahne and Shatterstar have a heart to heart while walking in the rain. Rahne being the consummate Catholic and Ric's ex-GF, and Shatter being Rictor's new gay boyfriend. They come to an understanding, then fight some demon chick in a church. Then on the last page we get a YeahBuhWHA?!? as Feral shows up. Feral has been dead for awhile.

[Rollo Tomassi]

20 books this week. Although three of them were my son's choices, and one of those was a double of one i had purchased. ugh. Also, got two Event books(Booster Gold and Journey into Mystery), but left about a hundred on the racks.

Annihilators 4. The miniseries comes to a close and the Annihilators save the SpaceKnights and Wraiths worlds by combining the black sun and the yellow sun into a half and half sun. In the back up tale, Rocket and Groot defeat the badguy and everybody cheers. There's an in house ad for Annihilators:Earthfall in Sept. Vs the Avengers. Coolio.

New Avengers 13. The modern day arc and the 1050s arc wrap up as Nick fury and Hawkeye decide to give a variation of the Infinity Formula to a mortally wounded Mockingbird while she's still unconcious. Will she forgive/thank/hate them when she wakes up?

Batman & Robin 24. A team of animal-people break jason out of a prisoner transport, and he quickly tunrs on them. B&R show up to save and/or reapprehend him. Then they all find out Jason's new sidekick, Scarlet is being held hostage in exchange for him. So all three "Sons of Batman" have to team up to save her.

Birds of Prey 13. The conclusion of the Junior storyline. Dove gets stabbed by a giant pair of scissors and Huntress saves the day. Oracle vows revenge. Little does Oracle know, her entire world is getting fucked up in a couple months and she won't exist anymore, so reading this is kind of bittersweet.

Booster Gold 45. My one and only Flashpoint tie-in this week, because there are only a couple issues left in the book and I want a full run. Booster fights a govt controlled Doomsday agent who thinks he's an Atlantean. Booster googles heroes in this new alternate reality, so we get the cliffnotes version of whats going on in the main FP book.

Formic Wars 6. The penultimate issue of the first Formic War.

Ghost Rider 0.1 A "Point One" Initiative issue (again, as with Alpha Flight, wouldn't a First Issue have been a sufficient enough jumping on point?) Anyway, sadsack Johnny Blaze meets a mysterious stranger who gives him some treebark to chew to rid himself of the curse of the Ghost Rider. So it looks as if the regular series will be the Spirit jumping from host to host. No mention of Danny Ketch, the AWESOME Ghost Rider, but it looks like they left him off altogether. bastards.

GIJoe ARAH 167. Yet another ridiculously awesome jampacked issue. The "Arctic" team fights a platoon of ice-Vipers and Wolves. The hidden laser in the Chrysler Building returns! Destro finds out Cobra is buying arms from his cousinm, the not as dead as we thought Darklon. And so much more, crammed into a single issue. It's like somebody found a hidden cache of 80s books Hama wrote and is releasing them now, these are so seamless with the original series.

Incredible Hulks 630. 1st part of the 6 part end of the entire series (again, this is like the thirs time its "ended") I'm gonna wait and read all of them at once.

Iron Age:Alpha onshot. First part of a tiny Iron Man time travelling "Event". Didn't read it yet.

Journey Into Mystery 624. My one and only Fear Itself tie-in. mostly because the writing on these last four issues has been so darn good, and the FI stuff is so peripheral. Loki continues to be heroically conniving.

Punisher MAX 14. I can't tell if Nick Fury is just a figment of Frank's imagination or not. But this continues to bounce between his stint in prison and his post-Nam, pre-Central Park existence.

Red Robin 24. A bunch of assassin's....you know what? It doesn't even fucking matter. This may as well be a fucking What If title.

The Stand: No Man's Land 5. The last issue of this chapter. Mother Abigail dies. Stu, Glen, Larry, and Ralph begin their walk, taking nothing with them, wearing nothing but the clothes they have on. Goosebumps,

Ultimate Spidey 159. Penultimate issue in the "Death of Spidey" story. I got two issues, because my son grabbed one and I had already grabbed one for him, so when we got home, I had two copies.

Wolverine 10. We find out what the "Red Right Hand" organization is. And why they hate Logan so much. Tunrs out he's killed loved ones of everybody in the group. So, shouldn't the ENTIRE Marvel Universe be part of this clique by now? But not a bad issue really.

X-Men Legacy 250. ooh! Giant Sized Anniversary issue! Not too many books make it to 250 anymore. And i bet even fewer will make it here from now on. I bet maybe Savage Dragon and Spawn are the last two..ever. But I digress. The new team of Xavier, Magneto, Rogue, Frenzy, Gambit, and Legion try to round op escaped personalities of Legion. there's also a subplot involving Rachel Summers becoming insubstantial and apparently Havok and the rest of the StarJammers being KILLED. They also threw in an underwhelming reprint of an old New Mutants issue by Claremont and Sinckiwicz.

My son also picked up Venom 3 and a Green Lantern Movie Tie-in oneshot with Tomar-Re.
Don't judge him. You've bought questionable books in your day.

[anarky]

Darklon's not dead?

Damn. His death was kind of funny.