Bizzaro the Grip hired as Hollywood scab writer!

[Newsbot]

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Hollywood TV and movie production can continue despite the writers' strike thanks to the timely intervention of world-renowned fatherfucker Bizzaro the Grip, an inside source claimed Tuesday morning.

Bizzaro the Grip has been aching to get his balls into the asshole of the Hollywood studios, and is willing to write all the television shows and movies in exchange for footage of him boning George Lucas to be digitally inserted into Attack of the Clones.

"eET EES GOING TO BE MUCHO MEJOR THAN BEFORE, SI?" said Bizzaro the Grip at a press conference before the Women's Auxilliary of Hoboken, NJ.

"We were actually a little surprised," said John Q Paramount, president of Paramount Studios. "We didn't take him seriously, since his English is so incredibly bad, but he writes in the language like he was John Grisham."

Look for the changes in your favorite shows as soon as the existing scripts run out. Among some of the things to watch for:

--Bizzaro the Grip's friend, Bizarro the Grin, will appear on Heroes. In the scene, Hiro will discover that the man he believes is his father is not really his father. "tHAT GUY'S NEVER HAD KIDS! i'D KNOW, BECAUSE i'VE NEVER TASTED THE SWEET TASTE OF THAT MAN'S BALLS." It will turn out that Hiro's dad is an English guy, or something. Who knows?

--Dancing With the Stars will keep the name and set, but the dancing will be replaced by various teenaged boys sucking the cocks of male celebrities. "Hey, that show was totally fucking gay already," said Roy Disney.

--The entire run of How I Met Your Mother will turn out to be anecdotes told by your father as he gets his ass pounded by Bizzaro the Grip.

--Jon Stewart of The Daily Show will now provide the fake news while sitting naked in John Oliver's lap.

--Jay Leno will finally be cancelled. "iT HAS NADA TO DO WITH FUCKING EL PADRES," said Bizzaro the Grip. "hE JUST NO ES FUNNY."

[kidhuman]

Lying twat

[Rollo Tomassi]

The article mentions changes to my favorite shows, then goes on to mention Heroes, Jay Leno, and Dancing With The Stars. So what changes to my favorite shows will occur?

[anarky]

So The Daily Show isn't among your faves, Rollo Red?

She didn't mention that Pushing Daisies is now going to involve a weird fetish Ned develops that alters his abilities so that he has to blow a corpse for two minutes before it comes back to life.

[Rollo Tomassi]

Oh that's too bad. I was going to suggest an episode where Ned finds out that Chuck's nipples and areolas are immune to his death touch and he spends the rest of the season pinching them and biting them.

And Chuck and Olive explore the love that dare not speak it's name. In HD.

[bIZZARO tHE gRIP]

Lying twat

sHE EMAY BE UN TWAT, BUT SHE NO ES LYING. eSHE ES WRONG ABOUT UNO THING. aH AM EVERY BUSY CON MI NUEVO JOB. sO, AH NO LONGER HAVE ZEE TIME TO APPEAR ON "hOW AH eMET TU pAPA." iNSTEAD, dAVID, ZEE ESPANISH HOMBRE FROM EL sESAME sTREET VILL REPLACA ME. uN mUPPET ETELLS ME THAT dAVID ESTUDIED sENIOR jIM hENSON'S TECHNIQUES.

aH, sENIOR rOLLO tOMASSI. wILL YOU APLEASE ESTOP BY MI OFFICE EN hOLLYWOOD? yO TANGO UN ASSIGNMENT MUY MUY ESPECIAL FOR YOU.

[Ran]

Someone please lock this this idiot in the negative zone and explain to him that this is a lie that was fabricated by Newsbot?