GIJoe

[jjreason]

Ok I'll buy it. I've had that experience too, that weird realization that the green light is really, truly on - when you weren't expecting it. Once it was so damned surprising I basically froze like a bunny in the headlights, which ended that right quick.

[Tom Foolery]

Ugh. Yeah I've "botched" the green light before. A girl I had known for a matter of hours (I forgot how I wound up in her apartment, I think I was giving her a lift to a mutual friend's party) said she was gonna take a shower. I jokingly asked if I could watch or join her or something. She said yes. I couldn't tell if she was joking so I didn't go for it. Dammit. Weeks later we made out in a bar. She was nice. I regret not banging her in her shower.

[anarky]

It didn't sit right with me to fuck a dude's wife while he was serving our country.

Funny, I recall we were in Sizzler the day before that very party, and you were eating a hamburger steak with ketchup on it and you kept dipping it into your coffee--but I digress. In that Sizzler, you looked at me in the eye and said, "Anarky, I don't know everything, but there is one thing I know with utter certainty. I wish Slicker was married. I don't care if she's 700 pounds, with one eye and a constant stench of rotted cabbage coming from her maggot-infested vagina. Because I'd cuckold that asshole at the drop of a hat. I hate Slicker so damned much, I'd screw his wife even if she was Dom Deluise in a shitty wig, just so I could post the video to YouTube and shame his ass publicly."

I've never figured out why you hated Slicker so much, or why you've never mentioned it here at any point.

[Tom Foolery]

Where do I begin? First off, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. That includes conversations in Sizzler, you dick.
Second, Slicker was probably 15 at the time, so he wouldn't be married. And even if he WAS married, he wasn't in the Service yet. I'll fuck a married man's wife (and have done so) just not a Serviceman's wife while he's on duty or whatever.
Thirdly, YOU were probably 15 at the time also, so it's unlikely I'd be hanging with you in a Sizzler.
Fourth, I've only fucked a fat chick once just to say I'd done it, and wouldn't care to do it again.
Fifth, I think you're confusing me with Sleazer.
Oh, and lastly, I don't drink coffee. Or dip my food in it. Because I don't drink coffee.

[anarky]

Ah, dude, you're forgetting time travel and Vogons were both involved.

[Ran]

I call shenanigans on both of you on the grounds that there is no Sizzler in Las Vegas.

[anarky]

Because of the Treaty of Versailles, the dining room of every Sizzler is a remote district of Las Vegas.

[Tom Foolery]

I call shenanigans on both of you on the grounds that there is no Sizzler in Las Vegas.

It was in Reno.
But "What happens in Reno stays in Reno" is as lame as it sounds.

And would also require both anarky and myself to admit we've been to Reno. Which isn't happening.

[anarky]

And we certainly didn't share a motel room (and a bed) with Lt. Dangle.

[Ran]

Look, I don't care how many times you guys tickled each other's balls with your tongues. I'm not even upset you guys didn't invite me to Reno with you. My point is that there is no Sizzler around here and that the military wacks off. A lot.

[Tom Foolery]

They should issue fleshlights to all them military boys.

[anarky]

Ran, I found out the hard way that Tom's balls aren't very ticklish....

Oh, goddammit, forget I said that.

[jjreason]

This certainly got gay.

[Tom Foolery]

It's true. I don't like my balls played with. By dudes OR chicks. I realize that revs some guys motors, but not me.

[anarky]

I once told a lady, "Slap my balls hard." I thought she had enough sense to know I was kidding. She did not. I was too sore to do anything else that day.