I was a lazy bastard and didnt scroll down !!!!!!!

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 6:35 pm

I saw the preview on the tube last night and this movie looks kick ass. Johnny Depp and Antonio Banderas are in it with Selma Hyack. Is there anything that Johnny Depp can not do? I mean he is an awesome actor. The only bad movie that pops intomy mind is Crybaby. Stupid fuckin movie with Ricki" I'll have a double donut" Lake in it. Anyone else see this preview?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 7:25 pm

So some lazy bastard didn't scroll down thru the list of topics in the movies forum.

I'm not mentioning any names.

Heh. Crybaby. The only memory of that movie I have is when a buddy of mine in junior high saw an ad for it in the back of one of his comics. Amy Locane is laying across the bottom of the poster/ad with her legs up the side. Shes wearing a tight sweater and my friend goes "Man, she is stacked!" Funny.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Wed Aug 27, 2003 9:36 am

I'll take the vote for lazy bastard.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Aug 27, 2003 1:01 pm

A guy at work was trying to get me riled and he called me an asshole.

I said "yeah. I'll wear that hat..."

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Aug 27, 2003 9:27 pm

And here I was all set to start my own Once Upon a Time in Mexico topic....

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 8:43 am

In my happy little world, there's only one Matrix movie...because Revolutions SUCKED! That's why I didn't even bother starting a new topic, because it don't deserve one. I just shanghaid this one.

So I was a tad dissappointed by Reloaded, but I figured Hey, it's all leading up to a kickass finale. But then...it didn't kick anything, let alone ass. It was doing something to ass, but it wasn't kicking it. Eating it maybe. or sucking it.

The Wachowski bros said this was their live action Anime film, and it does indeed remind me of Anime. Specifically, Akira, where the filmmaker said "Fuck it all!" at the end of the film and it just was like what the hell? Revolutions is alot...exactly like that.

What a turd on celluloid.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 12:32 pm

All the Matrix movies suck.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 4:22 pm

You guys are obviously involved in a homoerotic cyber-relationship. These movies are good, and fairly thought provoking as far as mainstream hollywood action goes. The effects from the first one broke a lot of ground, and have been emulated to the nth degree. The last 2 movies should be looked at as one story - not as strong as the first mind you, but better than a lot of the stuff we're seeing out there. 10/10 from JJR in terms of "style" points. Yes there are detractions, but you can't tell me these movies compare at all with complete hog shit like "2 fast 2 furious" or "xXx". Fuck I hate that shit.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Nov 11, 2003 11:41 am

Yes I'll admit that the special effects are good. But sorry it ends there. The Matrix sucked more dick than a hooker on dollar day. Keeanu Reeves is a bitch. The only saving grace is Fishburne and he cant man a sinking ship.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Tue Nov 11, 2003 5:09 pm

I think Keanu is shitty as well, but for some reason this role suited him. It called for an absolute lack of emotion and acting skill - which he can certainly pull off without any difficulty whatsoever. I don't give him any credit for working hard to achieve that "detached" air on screen, I just think that's the way he is normally which worked for this role - and likely this role only. Fuck Keanu Reeves. You can't tell me Hugo Weaving doesn't kick big ass as Agent Smith though. He's worth the price of admission all by himself.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 11:18 am

Yeah, Weaving kicks all kind of ass. I walk around work saying "Mr. Anderson" in that cool Smith voice. Forget Fishburne. he was cool in the first one, but he turned into the king of whiney bitches in 2 and 3. More reasons why they sucked. And the FX are cool, but they are just derivative of the first film. Like that upside down/sideways gun battle in 3. Nifty, but not as cool as the same scene in the first film because its the EXACT same fight except, oooh! We'll inexplicably run around on the cieling at the same time! Oh, and xXx and 2F2F blow ass, but they never made the promise that they wouldn't blow ass. I expected more from The Matrix movies and was totally let down, thus making their suckiness exponentially worse.

plus, xXx has possibly the best/worst cheese line in any film ever. "You passed the test. The Gibbons test." i don't know if it's the delivery or what, but that line causes uncontrollable giggling every time I hear it.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 2:19 am

I've never watched it, to be honest, but I really liked the part my friend told me about when some Russian cat says "Bitches..... come." and like some hotties go fuck him or something. He's the mack.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Nov 19, 2003 10:56 am

I vaguely remember that, but it doesn't compare to Gabriel Byrne in End of Days.

"Is this your wife? And this is your daughter?" and the next shot is him in a three way with this poor schmoes family. Satan kicks ass.