Super Heroes Are GAY!!!

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:07 pm

I was in another forum, discussing the whole "Batwoman being a lesbian" publicity stunt from DC. And we started talking about which characters are gay in comics. DC seems to have a lot of lesbians running around, but very few male gay characters. And certainly none of their mainstream heroes. This from a company which started a fairly big diversity push in all it's books, making Firestorm Equatorial (although they already had plenty of black characters running around), A new latino Blue Beetle, an new asian Atom, etc. And then I started thinking about what characters at Marvel are gay as well. So who's gay? And why don't the comic books companies appeal to this minority more?

DC

Batwoman (Kathy Kane)
Renee Montoya ( The New Question)
Catwoman II ( Holly Robinson)

Pied Piper (Old Flash villain turned quasi-hero)
Obsidian ( GA Green Lantern's son)

Marvel

Karma (Xi'an Coy Mahn from New Mutants)
Northstar ( original gay Marvel posterboy)
Wiccan
Hulkling
Electro ( prison changed his tastes apparently)

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:21 pm

I was going to throw out Pied Piper, thinking you'd miss him. Very, very complete there, EP.

There've always been fanboy rumors about Aquaman, but he has pretty much proven that he doesn't plow the forbidden kelp-bed.

It was very, very loosely implied in Arkham Asylum that Joker swings that way occasionally, but it's more likely an "adult-oriented" comment on his officially being the craziest loon in comics.

I would imagine some of the lower-level supervillains, or those who began life as petty thugs, had some experiences, though probably not consensual.

Jeez, that can't be it. Isn't one of the guys in The Authority gay? (Not that I've ever read that Wildstorm tripe, but I seem to recall a reference to that somewhere.)

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:26 pm

Okay, total speculation, but you can't tell me Doctor Mindbender didn't use his powers of mind control to "influence" some Vipers to come in for some personal therapy.

I'd imagine that before he played around with mental suppression of pain, he was using laughing gas so he could bang his male patients when they thought they were just getting braces.

Post by **vynsane** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:46 pm

anarky wrote:Isn't one of the guys in The Authority gay?

two, actually... together! apollo (the authority's superman) and the midnighter (the authority's batman) are an "item". and actually, i've heard nothing but good stuff about the initial run of the authority. you might be surprised to find out how good it is. i haven't read it, but the guys at my store worhship the ink it was printed with.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 2:02 pm

My comment about Mindbender being "gay" in the "homosexual" sense as well as the "lame as hell" sense has me thinking about the Joe Universe.

(But not the Transformers. Because the Marvel comic is the canon, and a Marvel UK story confirmed that, despite personality programming and outward appearance, they are totally asexual.)

We can reasonably assume all Joes are heterosexual, or at least non-practicing or closeted homosexuals, simply because of America's "Don't ask, don't tell" policy.

The similar teams from other countries could be another story. In fact, for some reason I'm thinking it was confirmed that Daina is a lesbian.

And Cobra. Woooooo boy.

Like I said, Mindbender is a pretty obvious candidate. However, his dress and demeanor could be a result of driving himself insane, then later being killed and brought back to life as a clone.

Something tells me Croc Master is the sort of big burly guy who likes to make smaller guys from the city squeal like pigs.

Raptor... no, he's just a fucking retard.

Crystal Ball. Ho boy! Here we have a guy who makes Mindbender look like the president of the Young Republicans, without the excuse of total insanity. Definitely the single most likely gay Cobra.

Tomax and Xamot. Two twins, extremely successful and yet with no ties to any women, even casually. In their professional life, always immaculately dressed, even down to the matching silk ties and hankies. As ruthless terrorist field commanders, they definitely shop at Mindbender's Wearhouse. 100% "confirmed bachelors."

Cobra Commander, Destro, Destro II, and Baroness are all confirmed heterosexuals (though I'll wager Baroness has "experimented").

Zartan, Zarana, and Road Pig are the only Dreadnoks with any info given about ever their preferences. All heterosexual, unless Zarana just loved to screw with Road Pig's mind, which is a distinct possibility. The Dreadnoks seem like there'd be one or two gays among their roster, and I'd say most likely is Thrasher, followed by Zandar.

Guys like Firefly, Major Bludd, and the rest of the "named" Cobras (though to a lesser extent) appear to be totally homicidal maniacs, who would rather blow something up than act on normal sexual urges of either type.

After some thought, there is one possible gay GIJoe member. As much as I'd love to say it's Duke, though, it's not. (Are you sitting down? This could be a major shock to the system.)

He served in the US Army during Vietnam, long before "don't ask, don't tell" was an official policy. Four members of his LRRP survived, including himself. One of these later became a Crimson Guard, and was married with one son, who as an adult joined the second incarnation of the team. Two others were original team members of both GIJoe team incarnations; one is married with several kids, the other has been engaged to a fellow (female) team member for years.

But the guy I'm talking about, well, he's never been shown to have any strong attraction to women. This could be due to his extensive ninja training. . . but that didn't stop his buddy from 'Nam from hooking up with the first redheaded bombshell to come his way.

Our guy had an extremely strong bond with his buddy, but joined Cobra to discover who'd killed his uncle. And, though he joined the Joe team years later, it was without officially re-enlisting, meaning that technically any anti-gay policies in the military wouldn't apply to him.

Yep. If any GIJoe team member is a homosexual, it would have to be Storm Shadow.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 2:59 pm

Actually, Clinton changed the policy to "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Before that, you were asked if you were homosexual. If you answered "yes", you didn't get to join. When I enlisted in 1993, the forms hadn't changed yet, and the recruiter made a comment about Clinton and skipping that question. I'm pretty sure being homosexual was grounds for discharge even when there was a draft.

Post by **vynsane** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 3:03 pm

hence why that guy in MASH was always dressing up in women's clothing... war is hilarious!

Bizarro The Grin · Post by **Bizarro The Grin** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 3:42 pm

i CAN'T SWEAR TO THEIR NORMAL PREFERENCES, BUT i'VE MADE SWEET, SWEET ASSLOVE TO A LOT OF COMIC CHARACTERS:

cYCLOPS
pROFESSOR x
rEED rICHARDS
fLASH ii
THE FIRST TWO gREEN gOBLINS
cOBRA cOMMANDER
dESTRO
sTALKER
sPARKPLUG AND sPIKE WITWICKY
sPIDER-mAN AND THE jUGGERNAUT (IN THE m2 uNIVERSE)
sUPERMAN (IN THE MOVIES)
jOR-eL

mAN, i LOSE TRACK AFTER A WHILE.

i NEVER, EVER SLAMMED sPAWN'S BUNGHOLE, THOUGH, NO MATTER HOW HE BEGGED.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 4:42 pm

Rogue II wrote:Actually, Clinton changed the policy to "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Before that, you were asked if you were homosexual. If you answered "yes", you didn't get to join. When I enlisted in 1993, the forms hadn't changed yet, and the recruiter made a comment about Clinton and skipping that question. I'm pretty sure being homosexual was grounds for discharge even when there was a draft.

Yeesh, R2, you think that would have stopped a gay ninja who wanted to serve his country? No, Tommy would have lied on his paperwork. If he was even aware of his orientation at that time, that is.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 4:46 pm

How did this devolve so quickly?

Didn't Stormshadow shag his apprentice in Master & Apprentice II?

Shipwreck is the sailor, right? I rest my case. And Gung-Ho certainly dressed the part.

But no, I was looking for serious answers.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 4:50 pm

I still haven't read M&A2. That was about the time my comic shop basically stopped carrying GIJoe, and I've not picked up the paperback yet.

M&A1 did show that Budo was tapping Jinx's ninja booty, proving that the stupid samurai with tennis shoes wasn't gay after all.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 4:52 pm

I suppose his ninja skills would have prevented him from getting caught. While I was in, I met some people that I'm sure were closet gays. None of which seemed to have any ninja abilities. One of them won an award and got to go to the White House and meet old slick willie himself. He then got out and came out of the closet.

Tomax and Xamot quite possibly could be gay. They are sort of the Cobra version of TV's Kraft Brothers. They have a kids show called Zaboomafoo and do other animal documentaries. My brother works for National Geographic TV and has met these guys and swears they are gay. He said they got a little too excited when they were viewing footage of a Komodo dragon biting the cock n' balls of an ox.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 4:58 pm

Yeah those Kraft brothers are quite possibly gay. And role models for small children. But they are not Super Heroes.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Dec 08, 2006 5:39 pm

Wait. It just occurred to me that my title here is currently "stormshadow."

Tommy Arashikage is the straightest man who ever lived. Period. He spends all his free time banging Cover Girl. Except when the others aren't looking. Then he has mad orgies with Scarlett, Jinx, the Baroness, and Lady Jaye, too.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:13 am

Apollo and the Midnighter rock more ass than Johnny Twist and whatever the other gay Cowboy's name was.

The original run of The Authority (also known as STORMWATCH) is unbelievably amazing..... but I've already blabbed about it some hundred million times to you tools without so much as a "huh" in reply.