Fun facts for JabbaJohnL

[anarky]

(Or any other teenager too young to remember better.)

• Megatron transforms into a gun.
• Science will probably never know what killed the dinosaurs.
• Carrie Fisher is hot.
• We are better than the Russians. They eat puppies.
• Arnold Schwarzenegger used to be an actor.
• Al Gore used to be a politician.
• Daisy Duke is a brunette.
• Rappers always refer to freedom of speech in their songs, and instruct kids to stay in school.
• Mr T and Alf are the shit.

[Double_G]

Dude, we're only ten years younger than you guys. We're not retarded.

[anarky]

It's all in jest, my man.

I was wondering earlier when I posted that crazy shit about the Kiss Players whether guys your age would even have any knowledge of TF:TM, or if I needed to explain it, and this sprung from that. (In any case, I think Megatron with a penis for a tongue, getting ready to who-knows-what with a young girl, is sick enough that it needs no preamble.)

[Zero]

Explain 8-bit gaming systems to them. And how people peed themselves with excitement at the thought of 16 and 32-bit systems getting announced.

There used to NOT be an internet. Or cel phones. Or texting. Don't ask me how people survived.

Because there was no internet, there was no eBay. And therefore no toy scalpers. Toy collecting (or "playing" as it was referred to back then) was much more enjoyable and less stressful.

Cable television only showed old movies and didn't have shows of their own. In fact, there wasn't even a Fox Network! Only ABC, NBC, and CBS.

Airport security was so lax, people met loved ones right at the gate!

To be famous, you actually had to have talent, and not just be a rich alcoholic whore.

Reality TV was called the "news" and great men named Brinckley and McNiel and Lehrer reported it. But only once a day. And not for ratings.

Russia used to be the ONLY bad guys. They were called something else back then.

Battlestar Galactica was lame and not uber kickass like it is now.

Star Wars was kickass and not uber lame like it is now.

In porn, women had bush and men had mustaches.

[Double_G]

It's all in jest, my man.

I was wondering earlier when I posted that crazy shit about the Kiss Players whether guys your age would even have any knowledge of TF:TM, or if I needed to explain it, and this sprung from that. (In any case, I think Megatron with a penis for a tongue, getting ready to who-knows-what with a young girl, is sick enough that it needs no preamble.)

Oh, I've seen and remember "Transformers: The Movie" well. At least, the first half. Once Optimus Prime died, the experience kind of turned sour.

But tell me more about a time when SNL didn't suck.

[Ran]

When we wanted popcorn, we had 3 choices: use a product called Jiffy-Pop, use a hot air popper, or make it in a pan.

TVs didn't used to have remote controls. It wasn't uncommon for children to be used at the remote control. It went something like this:
Father: Boy! Put on channel 5.
Son: Ok, dad.
Father: Don't change it so Goddamn fast, you'll break the knob! Oh, and adjust the rabbit ears while you're at it.

TVs used to only have 5 stations.

They didn't used to play Metallica on the radio.

Back in the day when we played with those little plastic army men, Green were Americans, Yellow were Chinese/North Korean/North Vietnamese, and gray were Nazis, depending on which war you were playing. Often times these green army men were used to augment the GI Joe armies.

We couldn't look at new toys on the internet. We had to wait for our parents and grandparents to get the Sears or JC Penny's 600 page catalog. Then we had to thumb through it until we found Star Wars, Legos, and Hot Wheels/Matchbox cars.

They used to make lots of Star Wars playsets.

The only way to illegally download music was if you had a tape recorder that could hold 2 cassettes or 1 cassette and a record player attached.

[anarky]

The times when SNL didn't suck? Man, that takes me back. I haven't watched that pile of shit in over fifteen years. About twenty years ago, it was absolutely not to be missed. That was before the dark times, before Tina Fey.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Carrie Fisher is hot.

I think anyone at any age can agree with this.

And I'm not four, for Christ's sake.

[Snarf]

You are in snarf years, snarf snarf.

[anarky]

Back in the old days, all action cartoons (except GIJoe for some reason) had to have at least goofy childlike character for comic relief, as the companies thought kids would identify more with such characters. Trouble is, most of them wound up being hated. That's why we have Bumblebee, Chip, Pidge, Copper Kid, Scooter, Wheelie, Spike, Daniel, Glomer, Scrappy-Doo, that fucking retarded kid with a mohawk who hung out with Mr T, and Snarf.

Yes, at one point, someone thought Snarf was a good idea. We've come so far since then.

And I've never figured out why fucking Glomer had to be added to an animated version of Punky Brewster. What the fuck, the show was a goddamned kids' show to begin with! You keep the regular show going and then create this animated version where there's a fucking pedophile creature casting spells and shit? Man, that must be the same fucking retard who came up with the idea for a Caveman TV show.

[Ran]

And it isn't only cartoons. Adding a kid to a TV sitcom is a sign of the end. Off the top of my head, Different Strokes, Brady Bunch, the Cosby Show, & Family Ties all had new kids added shortly before the series ended.

GI Joe still had kids at the end of the show during the safety tip portion. Go-bots had Scooter. The Dinosaucers only dealt with earth kids. Captain Planet had his little gang of kids. Fuck, maybe Michael Jackson watched too many 80s cartoons. Even the Superfriends had Wendy & Marvin.

[vynsane]

and don't forget the wonder twins.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

I guess this is as good a place as any to post this - last week or so, I heard a Nirvana song on the modern rock station, only to hear another Nirvana song less than a minute later on the classic rock station. My head exploded.

[anarky]

Yeah, the first time I heard Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Pearl Jam on classic rock stations, it made me feel older than just about anything else in my life has.

Kinda like what you said, I've actually switched from a classic rock station to a modern rock station (both independently owned) in San Diego, and heard the same Bob Marley song on both stations. No anniversary of death or anything. Kinda weird.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Fuck, it made ME feel old.

I don't like Bob Marley in the first place, but hearing him on a modern rock station (which happens often here) is just stupid - he's not modern, he's not rock, get him off my radio.