Why I'm really glad we declared independence from the Brits

[anarky]

Last night, The Daily Show was a rerun. So was Good Eats. Yet, here it was, 11:00, and I wanted to watch something. I was going through channels and saw something on the BBC called "My Big Breasts and Me." I was there.

It was about three women. They had really big boobs. Natural boobs. Only they kinda tried to downplay them. One was kinda fugly from the neck up, and heavily tattooed from the neck down, and she decided to exercise to try to shrink hers. The second was average at best (meaning smoking hot by British standards), and didn't have the confidence to be a model. It showed her being fitted for bras (huzzah! not bad for basic cable!) and she wound up with a 30GG. She had decided to face her fears and try modeling.

The third... this is where it gets really fucking weird by American standards. A cute blonde. Not the hottest in the world, but cute even by American standards. Her boobs were 32K! I didn't fucking know they went that big (though I wouldn't have guessed that was her size in a million years--they were big, but K cup?). She hated them. They got in the way when she played the piano. She didn't like how everyone knew her more for her tits than anything else.

So she was getting surgery. This was the saddest moment in the show, knowing those huge national treasures would become mere double-D's, and with nasty scars to boot. I actually fell asleep, since it got boring after the bra sizings, so I don't know that she went through with it, but it would've made me cry like a little girl to see it, so it's probably a good thing I was tired.

But it was weird, as it went on and on about how British women with big knockers weren't treated well. Apparently the boring, stodgy British like economy in their breasts. I couldn't help but think how much money any of them--especially the one who was actually pretty hot--could make showing off their boobs on the internet, which wouldn't even require living in the US. Hell, they wouldn't even have to show anything else to make a good living--it's pretty easy to tell the difference between real and fake in nude pictures, and real K-cups are pretty fucking rare. I think Dolly Parton doesn't even have those. (She's only a double-J.)

Fuck, I get grossed out by fake boobs over the "normal" max of about double-D, but natural K's?

I know they're supposed to be a pain in the ass to lug around, but I'd think that making a shitload showing them off would afford one the free time to do exercises to strengthen one's back muscles, and to have properly fitted bras custom made if necessary.

If nothing else, why didn't the fugly one get surgery?

[Double_G]

If you've seen "Superbad", there's a whole conversation about that.

"Why would anyone get breast reduction surgery? That's like slapping God in the face for giving you a beautiful gift!"

[Diabolical]

I know they're supposed to be a pain in the ass to lug around, but I'd think that making a shitload showing them off would afford one the free time to do exercises to strengthen one's back muscles, and to have properly fitted bras custom made if necessary.

Or hire a couple of people to hold 'em up.

Wait, hire? She could ask for volunteers.

[Ran]

So she was getting surgery. This was the saddest moment in the show, knowing those huge national treasures would become mere double-D's, and with nasty scars to boot. I actually fell asleep after I jizzed into an old gym sock and it got boring after the bra sizings, so I don't know that she went through with it, but it would've made me cry like a little girl to see it, so it's probably a good thing I was tired.

A little too much information if you ask me.

[jjreason]

No kidding - at least have the fucking self esteem to get a clean sock out.